Tuesday, February 24, 2009

State of the Union

It's time John and I have another state of the union.

I know my story of job loss is boring probably, but this is what's going on in the world now and this is what my life is about, hence, this is what the blog is about.

When I first got laid off I had every plan in the book, Thailand was one of those plans, writing a lot and getting paid for it was one, working creatively with my husband was another...working part time, volunteering, writing a ton...but I worry now that reality is setting in. John and I aren't on vacation anymore, I'm not going to be living off freelance writing jobs, he's not going to get some sweet-paying freelance work, in short...we're a little screwed.

I'm loathe to let go of my freedom dreams though, scared to let go of the life I had envisioned for myself. But I wake up each morning now with severe fear and wonder if what we need is the opposite of my freedom dreams. Do we both need to get as many jobs as we can no matter what they are? Should I start looking for 2nd shift jobs I can go to after my part time job? Does John need to go back to being a waiter? how long do we wait before we sell out?

I'm so confused, I just don't have any idea what to do now, how bad is it all going to get? Am I going to be thanking my lucky stars for my job at 7-11?

Argh.

5 comments:

wafelenbak said...

I'm not even there yet (layoff land) and I still get so scared.
I have a 4 tier or so ser of plans that go from "what I really want" to "what I can stand to do to survive." I hate that we have to even think of these things. I don't pretend to have the answer for you, but wish you well in finding it with minimal stress. :(

Mental P Mama said...

I have twins going to college this fall and I have no answers. This is unchartered territory, and "mere survival" was an option I happily gave up almost 18 years ago when I had my children. I will tell you that I continue to have faith and hope that our great country will rise above these trials even stronger than before. I have even lived through two of these cycles. I will also tell you that I am sometimes scared, and tired of watching the value of my house shrink, and my investments vanish. But you must believe that all will be well. We all must. Now go watch the Prez.

stephanie said...

I'm with you, girl. I had a little meltdown last night. I realized that I have been sick almost constantly for over a month (I'm NEVER sick!), and I'm pretty sure it is due to this low-level of constant stress related to not having steady employment.

I think for the next year or two, we all need to tighten our belts, keep our heads down, do what we have to do, and wait for things to improve. I have a lot of faith in Obama's plans, even though I know they aren't really going to help me much in the next 6 months or so.

Hixx said...

Aw, you guys are the best. Thank you. It is nice (and horrible) to remember we're all in this together and that pretty much everyone is feeling the stress and strain.

rebar said...

I'm with wafelenbak. I'm still employed and I'm at fucking Orange alert 24/7.

It's just me - my parents have never been in a place to help me out, so the spector of "how will I pay my mortgage if I get canned" is ever looming.

It's funny. About 18 months ago, I was really hoping for a buyout, so I could find work in the city (I commute to the burbage.) Now, that idea scares the hell out of me...

Erp. I don't want to end on that note, so I'll say this.

You and John can and will get each other through this. Yes you can.

xoxo
r