Monday, November 28, 2011


Hi everyone! I hope you had an awesome holiday. For me, it felt like YEARS, but it was really nice. John and I stayed pretty quiet. He's been watching Boardwalk Empire and finally convinced me it's something I need to see (I mean, Al Capone, Johnny Torrio, Big Jim Colossimo? He's totally right, I did need to see it) so we sat a lot on the couch, watching Boardwalk Empire and eating and hugging the dog. It was really nice.

And now, now it's time to work!

You know what you do when you're stuck? You ask someone who knows better than you. Then, when you ask someone who knows better than you, you take what you need from it and dump what you don't.

I've been so overwhelmed with my creative process (ew) that I was stuck. I didn't know what to do next. So I asked a very old friend of mine who I haven't spoken to in years and of course he was AWESOME and totally helped me plan an attack and now I'm practically busting out of my pants to get to work.

But he also gave me some advice I'm just not prepared to take right now.

And I can't tell you, how for 24 hours I totally flipped out because I wasn't ready for the step he suggested. And then in the middle of whining to my husband about it, it hit me....maybe it's not fear that's stopping me from not doing the next step, but the ultimate fact that I'm just not ready. Not every voice in my head that says "NO" is the wrong voice, or a fearful voice, which is what I always assume. In my mind, if I don't want to do something, it means I'm scared to.

But I'm talking to John and in the middle of it I said, "maybe I'm not supposed to do this thing yet and every bone in my body is screaming not to, maybe I should listen to that instead of battling it?"

GUH. It is SO hard to be self-aware. Heh.

So I'm on, I'm in, I'm over, I'm under, I'm next to it and on top of it.

In other words, I'm all over it.

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