Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Yay Spring!

By golly, it is gorgeous outside.

I know it's all gone tomorrow, but it will be back. And until then, I shall wait, patiently, like a woman who has been turned into stone and is waiting for a kiss from the warm sun to bring her back to life.

Sigh.

I'm getting really excited for tours. Man, Chicago is just unbelievable with blue skies, sunshine and some warmth. I was down today giving a pedway tour and I couldn't stress to the Parisians (yes, I'm VERY international) enough about how we're all just dying for this. Dying.

So, besides that, here's what I'm struggling with as of late.

There's lots to do, everyone has lots to do. I'm anxious to be famous and rich and it's just all TAKING SO LONG. I know in reality it's not really, shoot, it's barely been a year and in that year I've made more money, written a book, yadda yadda.

But I just have a hard time motivating sometimes. All the steps seem so little. Everything feels so far away. How are we ever going to have enough money to do everything I want to do? Now, I realize we are the LUCKIEST people on earth pretty much. We're warm, we have food, we have enough money to play a little and take a trip here and there, but I gotta tell you folks, that's not even close enough for me.

This is my one trip on this planet and I want everything that I want!

Am I selfish?

Am I selfish that I want to travel the world, understand, work, write, play in the sunshine when I choose?

Yes.

Am I entitled?

Yes.

Greedy?

You bet.

But sometimes it feels like my movements are so small, I'll be 120 by the time I get what I want.

I have very few regrets in my life, even the mistakes of course were necessary to have everything that I have now, but sometimes, I get angry at 23-33 year old me for mucking around! Man, if I had just figured it out a little earlier, I'd be getting a foot massage by a small Thai lady on Kao San Road in Bangkok, with a cold Singha and my husband by my side.

I want this before I become to old to enjoy it.

And I must work for it. I try to remember this when I want to go sit on the couch.

Ooooh, the couch....

2 comments:

Melisa with one S said...

Don't forget that we're supposed to enjoy the journey, too! :)

Hixx said...

oh shoot. right. stupid journey!

heh.