Monday, October 18, 2010


Sorry, no post since last Tuesday? I'm slipping y'all...

But okay, here's the news:

Got the nose pierce! Oh my god, I totally did it. Went back and forth and back and forth for weeks. This little decision held so much importance for me.

I've been battling a lot lately with not worrying what people think. During and after Burningman I realized that I worry A LOT about what other people are saying about me. I know we all do, but I honestly think I'm slightly out of control. It scared me to think that I manipulate what I say or do to get a favorable reaction out of someone - friends, husband, strangers - it doesn't matter. I want you all to think I'm totally together, with it, never confused and an all around awesome person.

The nose ring was something that I wanted. I've always thought they were really pretty. Certainly I asked everyone what they would think if I got it, some loved the idea, some hated it and some just wondered if I was going through a mid-life crisis.

I cannot tell you how much it scared me to think that some people - friends, husband, strangers - might think I was having a mid-life crisis, or doing something stupid. Those things had never even occurred to me, that I was doing something "young people" do, it really hadn't. It wasn't until I heard other people's opinions that my own changed. Grrr.

So all day long on Saturday I waffled, back and forth, back and forth - asking anyone I could get my hands on if they thought I was making a mistake.

Up until I was sitting in the chair I was thinking - so many people are going to think this is so dumb.


But yeah, I still did it!

It hurt. Sure. It hurt more than he said it would but less than I thought. I have a small peridot ring in there, no pictures because, well - it's kinda gross! I mean, it's all clean, but it's kind of sticking up and my nose is kind of red, but...I love it!

I'll want a new ring when I can, this one, even thought it's tiny, is still a little too big for my taste, I want a tiny, tiny one - so I'll get that probably after India.

But I did it! I'm still totally horrified by what people will think, all the people who in their heads are thinking "that is so stupid, she looks dumb, my god is that dumb" but I did it anyway.

Little steps.

Sure, I will probably take this out in a year or two, who knows, maybe I never will - but for now I did something that scared me but at the same time it was something I really wanted. Just going was more than half the battle.

So! I will post pics when it looks pretty, because I care what you all think, so you can't see it yet...


Frances said...

sounds awesome. Can't wait to see you next week.

Hixx said...

Ha! Thanks Frances. Looking forward to seeing you!