Wednesday, November 11, 2009

It's Done, er, Finished.

Okay! So, we had another waiting game for a bit, but it's all settled now. John got an offer (different job, yes, two offers in one week) and picked one! This is good news, however, he won't go to work until January 4th. Which is fine. A bit of a throwback, but it's fine.

It's so funny, I really need to learn to get my head around not believing anything until it is smack dab on top of me.

But it's a good job, a really good job and he's excited and happy. Now we just have a few more weeks of "broke" and then we come back, bigger than ever!

Right now I'm really working on calming down.

The business is getting me all wrapped up. It's a good thing, it really is, there's no part of me that is wondering if I can do this, I know I can, but it can be overwhelming.

I have all these questions in my head, or that other people are asking, that I don't have the answers to yet. I have some philosophical questions ("I really need to find my voice," or "I really need to say what distinguishes me," or "I have to answer the question 'why?") and for some reason I feel like I need to answer all these questions TODAY.

But then I awesome myself right out of this as best I can. Because here's the truth, I unveiled a website a week ago, I am just now getting a business license, I'm just now learning what kind of voice I want to write in and tour in. See, these are all things that come with my new partner in crime - time.

I'll have to write a lot more blog posts to be really great at it, I'll have to do a lot more marketing before I have a bajillion followers, yes, I have a lot more work to do but I have to give myself a break, because, I'm doing the work. And there are so many questions I have and so many little things I need to figure out and our lives are still so weird and upheaved (is that a word? No, it isn't) that what I really need to do is just, calm down.

Step by step, do the next thing, take a break, pet the dog, watch the Wire.

Exercise people, who am I fooling? Can you tell I need some? Why do I have chocolate cake in the house when I'm not exercising? Is Modern Family on tonight? Why am I still reading this Memory Keeper's Daughter?

See? A little out there today.

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