Sunday, October 04, 2009

Quiet

I'm at my computer at my desk in my little pretty home office, listening to WGN and the clicks of a dog's paw on the floor.

My part-time job feels like a million years ago already. I've let it go that quickly. I wake up in the middle of the night now, not with stress and worry, but with a million things I want to do today.

There's an exercise many of these people, including my non-conformity guy have people do, and that is to map out your perfect day, from waking up to what you're having for breakfast to what you'll do about lunch, all the way through to when you go to bed. Then what you do is start making your life like that in whatever way you can.

My life, with the elimination of that job, is mighty close to the one I've pictured for myself. There's a large section of "worrying" (that's not quite the right word, but I can't seem to find the right one) that has been removed from my life. I've always been one to maybe not do things because I have to "work in the morning." Do you know what I mean? Sunday nights have always been reserved for me and me alone, thinking I need my quiet time before the work week starts back up. Even just working a part time job (which was almost as many hours as a full time one) caused me to think like this.

Tonight we have people coming for dinner and this has been no small stress in my recently relieved mind "Man, why do I do stuff on Sundays? Don't I know better?" and then I remember...no, it's different now. You don't have to get up and go to work tomorrow. Yes, I do have a ton of work to do tomorrow, so much it's making my head spin with happiness, but the stress of "going to work" is just not there. It's hard for me to let go of in some ways.

I won't be able to watch Amazing Race tonight however, that's what should really cause me stress no?

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