Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Minding my mind


So you know how I know I'm getting older? I all of a sudden have stuff on the side of my mouth. Gook or something, some kind of mouth gook.

When I was 10 me and my best friend Christy used to laugh and laugh at our 5th grade teacher, Mr. Arneill. You know why we laughed?

He had mouth gook.

Karma, it can bite you in the patoots if you let it.

I've been reading the same book for almost two months right now, lets just get it done huh Hixx?

Sometimes all I want is a Subway tuna salad sandwich with Fritos.

One of our pillow cases smelled an awful lot like gasoline the other night. That's probably not normal. But don't worry, nothing else did, we don't have a gas leak or anything, it was just the pillow.

Oh man, lets just stop me now...


Wendy said...

Hahahahaha....oh man Hixx, I needed that. Totally know about mouth gunk

rebar said...

I submit for your amusement...

Last night, as I was about to go to bed, I found the remains of a cracker sleeve (you know how crackers come in those sleeves) in the middle of my bed.

On Monday, I was feeling sick and thusly, drinking tea and eating crackers in bed...I completely forgot to put the crackers away left them next to my bed on the window pane I used as my "bedside table."

While I was at work on Tuesday?
Olive ate those crackers.
In bed.

Left crumbs everywhere. So, I start to strip the sheet thinking, I just have to dump the crumbs and wash that sheet.

Upon stripping the sheet, I discover some weird stain on the mattress pad. I still don't know (and don't wanna know) what it was, but I'm assuming it came from the dog.

Here's the rub.

There was no mark on the sheet to match the mark on the pad. (And oddly, no mark on the mattress itself.) Just on the pad alone!

BUT. Had she not eaten those crackers, I wouldn't have removed the sheet...and...gah...would have slept on whatever the hell that stain was.

I am officially lamer than you and your mouth junk.

Why? Because either way you look at it:

1) Olive trumps r, or
2) r trumps herself (by leaving the crackers out to begin with.)

Hixx said...

Okay, maybe a random stain on your bed trumps my mouth gunk. But just wait till I tell you the story about the mouth gunk in my bed....


Wendy, you make me feel better.