Monday, October 13, 2008

State of the Union

Oh Mondays, why oh why are you always so rough? Hmmm? Bum to you I say, bum to you.

We had a really nice relaxing weekend this weekend. Friday we took a long walk, had some dinner, watched some TV, did some cuddling…you know how it is.

Saturday John took me to the Haunted Trails out in the burbs, we played stupid kids games and won tickets and watched kids doing karaoke, pretty enjoyable. We came home and a had mini State of the Union.

Ever since John proposed, there have been so many things put off in the name of “the wedding” and we were both so excited to move forward after that, to do all these things we want to do…to move forward.

And unfortunately, in this state of stupid crisis in this country, now it feels like we have to put things off even more, he needs to find a job, I need to protect mine, the worries of the world are suddenly sitting on our shoulders too and plans that we want to make, and the direction we were going have now been shelved.

It sucks.

But Saturday we got into some stuff and figured out at least a short term direction and that direction, like everyone else’s, is get out of debt, so we are no longer indebted to anyone. We don’t have too much debt, nothing that we can’t deal with, but we just can’t put it off anymore in the name of us “having fun.”

That’s a rough call to make right now, for us. It means putting off our honeymoon again, it means making some major cutbacks for our little family that was once a double income no kids family. It means that we have to learn to live without our addiction to consuming and to spending money to make ourselves feel better…

But you know what? It’s also a plan. A plan we made together, a plan that we can both enact by supporting each other, by amusing each other, by planning together.

And even though it sucks balls, I feel SO much better, because now we have a plan and direction. Now at least I have a goal, a reason for doing what we’re doing.

And it makes me feel stronger and more able to deal with what we’re facing, because…well…we’re going to face it, not shy away from it, not fear it, but love it, welcome it, hug it…


wafelenbak said...

I know these feelings, for different reasons. I am glad you're able to put a positive spin on things--I will try to keep perspective myself. :)

Hixx said...

Thanks Waflen, I have to remember how lucky I am to have what I have. I think this is the key.