Well, at least I can't say that my life is boring. Except it was supposed to be boring after this wedding...but alas. It is not.
I'm just taking this all day by day I guess. Yesterday? Great day, lots of hope.
This morning? Fear and worry and fear.
This afternoon? Hope again.
So, we go as we go.
What I'm trying to do mentally is just stay as steady as possible. Don't let the GREAT IDEAS lift me up too high and don't let the GREAT FEAR bring me down too far. Tolle Tolle Tolle.
I'm also working on the Tolle theory of worry doesn't get you anywhere, you just keep taking the next step, do the next step, don't hide from things, get the next thing done as best you can. Worry, like guilt, is a completely useless emotion, and you know what? I have NO ROOM for stuff like that right now.
I'd rather John and I take this...challenging....time in our lives and approach it with hope and love and humor. The outcome will be better that way, and at least we might have a little fun getting there.
So..Disobey. Make something beautiful. Try to win.