Thursday, October 30, 2008

ISHT - Monster Edition

Hey wow! it's thursday!

So, the weight starting to come off a bit, which is good. It doesn't hurt that running is my saving grace right now and I have started running about 5 times a week instead of 3. I just...really, especially now, have a completely different day when I've run in the morning. And there's something about coming back in the warmth, having my orange green tea and stretching and watching Oprah and sitting down to my overwhelming computer and just...getting it done. It really makes a difference in my day now, so I have to keep running to keep myself sane.

Plus, without the tedium and the boredom of work (sorry work) I don't have this desire to eat like I did. I still want it to soothe myself sometimes, but there's no need to down 85 Cheez Its anymore, I'm not trying to stave anything off anymore.

My god, I'm so happy and so upset.


So I know my story of job loss is probably infinitely boring, but it is the only going on in my life right now, so, alas...

I'm still really stuck in a place of feeling guilty if I'm not spending the WHOLE day looking for work, and secretly enjoying every second of it. I'm so confused about what to do, about how to handle things, about what my next step is. But I keep making the deal with myself to do one nice thing for myself a day, whether that's research a new freelance writing site or going to the movies, or a run, or whatever.

I saw Quarantine yesterday, that was pretty scary, lots and LOTS of screaming, but I was honestly pretty freaked out a couple times. Definitely on the bloody side of things too...just in case that scares you, then don't go!

I finished a Jodi Piccoult book, Second Glance, which I really didn't enjoy. And I like her alot, but this all about ghosties and love stories and the Hixx is way too jaded right now to fall for that crap. So now I'm on to the last Harry Potter book and I'm enjoying that alot.



Mental P Mama said...

It will work out. You really do have a good attitude about all this...take it easy with yourself.

Tankboy said...

I found trips to the gym were one thing that really helped ground me during the 2 months I was out of work. The exercise gives you something regular to center on, and it makes you feel so much better! On top of that, it helps keep you from feeling like you got "nothing accomplished" during a particular day.

And remember, even in a best case scenario, it takes most folks AT LEAST 2 months to line up another job, so keep that in mind.

rachelleb said...

Could you designate just a certain amount of time during the day for looking for a job? Like after your run, watch Oprah, enjoy your tea and then spend two hours before lunch or something? And then the rest? Enjoy your time. I know my situation this summer was a little different.. i was laid off essentially and chose to take time off.. but I know what you mean. It was hard to not feel guilty and just enjoy it. Just remember, you have John's support no matter what, and you will be fine in the end.You might find a fabulous job and never get this time off again. Try to enjoy a bit of it every single day.. seems like you're doing that. Good luck!

stephanie said...

My biggest problem with not working regularly is the lack of schedule. Rachelle has a good idea - schedule your job hunting time like you would anything else. Maybe do it first thing in the morning, so that you can goof off later and not feel guilty.

You're inspiring me to try to start jogging, too!