It's all on the line

Oh my gosh, thank god it’s Friday. Seriously.

I’m so glad it’s warming up this weekend; I honestly can’t take it anymore. John’s been working a lot so I’ve been walking the dog almost every walk. Getting up at 6:30 AM, and walking the dog in the freezing cold, then the long walk to the Montrose stop, then the long walk home, then another walk with the dog – well, it was starting to make the Hixx pretty unhappy. This morning I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, not one more day. By the time I got to Montrose this morning I really couldn’t feel my legs. I figured someone would find me, frozen in front of the House of Suffism, one leg poised in front of the other in a walking position. So, I’m very much looking forward to the warmer weather, some running outside, some more relaxed walks with the dog, and the freedom to walk to Andersonville for dinner. Dammnit.

Did anyone watch The Moment of Truth the other night? I’m really confused. We all know I’m not one to be offended by much when it comes to TV or the “dumbing down of America,” but this show can bite me. First off, the general idea is pretty gross, let’s ask people personal questions, in front of the people they love, for money. I guess the show was cancelled in Columbia because they found out a woman had put a hit on her husband (hee). But what bothered me more were the fallacies in the game play. The game has holes in it, all over.

So they ask a contestant 50-75 questions, they use a polygraph to measure the answers, then the contestant comes out on the stage and they ask that contestant the questions they’ve already asked. Their spouses or friends or bosses are all sitting in the front row watching. Some of these questions are like this:

“Is there anything about your spouse you find repulsive?”

“Have you ever thought about cheating on your spouse?”

“Do you think you are the best looking out of your friends?” and they get progressively more personal as you move up, the more questions you can answer “truthfully” the more money you make.

But here are a few things I don’t get…

The contestants aren’t on a polygraph the second time they answer the questions, so the only way the hosts know they’re answering the question truthfully or not is to check how the contestant answered the question the first time.

The contestant knows how he answered the question before, so he knows when he’s on stage which answer he gave, so why would he lie and then … lose?

The only show that would be dramatic is the first one. Now that I’ve seen it, if I go on this show, I’m going to come clean to John about all my “secrets.” He will then have to act very shocked if I tell him I had an affair with a guy named Joe.

So many of the questions started: “Have you ever assumed, suspected, conceived, imagined…” all these really vague words. It’s stupid. “Have you ever suspected, that you might, someday, in your imagination, fantasized real or imagined that you might one day have some kind of relationship with someone your spouse wouldn’t like?” Stupid.

It seems to me, for the “gameshow” part of this to work; you’d have to have the contestant on a polygraph while he’s playing the game. Then he has to answer all the same questions again, and if he tries to lie, the polygraph might let him go (in which case he’s trying to fool a machine so he doesn’t look like an asshole in front of his wife, which is WAY more interesting) or it might catch him in his lie.

Right now the contestant is just trying to remember which answers he gave before. And that’s stupid. It’s not a game.

Anyway.

I had this weird instinct to google my mom, just to see, and I found this poem she managed to get into the New York Times from September 12, 1990…hee…its awesome:

Never wear white shoes after Labor Day,
That's what my mother would always say.
But she also put in my mind to stay,
Never wear black ones after Memorial Day.
So here's some advice for you to remember,
What's outre in May is de rigueur in September

It’s pretty cute.

Happy Friday everyone!