Wednesday, August 31, 2005

2 weeks, well, not even

I did it. I accepted my new position and officially gave my two weeks at my old one.

I am a new woman!

I’m excited. I’m relieved. I’m proud of myself. I’m looking forward to making a good amount of money and not answering anyone’s phone but my own. (I swear, this is almost better than the money at this point. I hate the effing phones so effing much).

And it was okay. My office and boss knew this was coming. They usually let people go right away when they quit, but not the admins, no no. I gave my two weeks and they’ll want me to train the new girl. My boss even said she’d want me to be a part of the interview process, which is nice. It was quick and painless, I was in and out and she was very cool about it. I even heard her telling her boss, and saying exactly what I told her, not making up some excuse why I had to leave. It’s the truth, there is no where for me to go here. I must leave!

If there is one thing that is really great that I’ve gotten from this job, it’s respect, and I appreciate that. I’ve always been told thank you, I’ve always had my voice heard, I’ve always been trusted, and that’s a really nice thing.

But folks, it is time to move on and move on I will. I will not stay where I cannot move forward!

So now I move forward to real estate development. JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED! Not really, not really at all…but it’s something I might be interested in, who knows? They’re rehabbing a bunch of old historic buildings, and that’s kinda neat. And maybe I’ll learn something that will make me even MORE money. Eh…maybe. Either way, I’ll be making good money at a good job with nice people and that’s enough.

So I’m looking forward to my three day weekend, to seeing some old friends and doing some wandering around.

Oh…gotta go…the effing phone is ringing.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

kkkkkkk more kkkkkkkk

Well, at least you can’t say my life is boring.

I believe I have been made an offer I can’t refuse. After my very Fountainheady way of asking everyone else what I should do, I have not yet had one person say that I should NOT accept the job I have been offered. I have not accepted said job yet, but believe I will be doing so tomorrow.

Money talks people, money talks. And you know what? I’ve never really heard it speak before. And it does talk, and it speaks English! I thought it was like God and only spoke to some people, who knew that it talked to me too? I thought we had broken up! But no! We’re still speaking me and money.

So…done and done, pretty much. I’m excited, still a little blown away, but excited. Maybe some day John and I can go on a vacation on a beach with drinkies and body surfing. Just maybe now.

Now I have to quit. You know how much I hate quitting? I hate it hate it hate it. I get all nervous and flustered, my voice wavers, I wouldn’t be surprised if I cry a little bit. I’ve been at my job for a pretty long time for me, and it’s going to be difficult. They love me here! But I shouldn’t have even been here as long as I have been, so it’s okay, I’m not bailing, I’m not doing anything wrong right? RIGHT?

Man oh man. I just gotta sit on all of this for just a little longer. One more night of “no change”.

Cause pretty soon y’all, I’m gonna have a lot of change.

Shout out to Izzo, I miss you friend.

Monday, August 29, 2005

zzzzzz

Well!

Another eventful yet not , weekend.

First off, I got my hair cut. She asked how much I wanted off, I told her maybe an inch, she cut at least 3 and now I look like a lesbian.

Then I dyed it dark, so I look like a dark haired lesbian.

Friday night John and I went to the best place ever for dinner. We went to “Little Vietnam” over by Argyle and Broadway and I could never tell you what the name of the place was, but it was delicious. He had the 7 course beef dinner which was awesome, I had some beef and noodle something or other, just awesome. I know they had been on Check Please recently, because the couple next to us wanted to order exactly what they had gotten on that show.

Nice walk home, a little tv, a little smooching, perfect Friday nights. There are some parts of this domestic thing I’m really starting to like, and our Friday nights are one of them. Quiet, casual, we chat it up and eat something yummy for dinner.

Saturday I gave a great tour and wandered slowly home, listening to Hollaback Girl. I know I’m late and about 20 years too old to be jamming out to Hollaback Girl, but I don’t care.

Saturday we did a show at the Playground and John and Craig decided to do it blindfolded, I was then there to at least make sure they didn’t kill themselves. We actually ended up having a hilarious show.

PLUS! PLUS! We saw Pimprov, which was the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time. They are awesome and I highly highly personally recommend, which doesn’t happen all that often.

Yesterday I saw my mom, which was nice, she’s back in Evanston, home for good I believe. And although it is a bit of weight to have her back, I’m glad she’s here.

Today I got a candidate in trouble for being rude to me more than once, so…that’s something right?

Friday, August 26, 2005

IM Awesome

I have done nothing at work today. Seriously, like almost…nothing.

I think the bane of every corporations existence, is the IM. It is truly the biggest time waster on the planet.

I have been gossiping instead of working, all day.

And believe me, I’ve gotten some really excellent gossip. I have learned things about friends and heck, maybe a little about myself as well.

But I have done, no work. And it’s 3:03. That’s 6 hours roughly, of being on the IM and talking about gossip.

I mean, I’ve gone on the CIN too, I’ve written some emails. I’ve answered the phones and I did go to lunch too, so I’ve done stuff. I wrote this blog entry right? But generally, it’s all been done during a heated discussion on the IM.

I love the IM.

And there are some days that I love my job.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

God I hope I get it, I hope I get it.

Well well well.

It’s been a long interesting week of lying to work, telling the truth to John, and dying, absolutely DYING for a job I interviewed for this week.

I had two interviews, one was a good job. A good solid job with what seemed to be, 3 weird funny ladies doing lots of paper pushing. Good pay, good benefits, a really GOOD job.

The other one is a job that for the first time I actually WANT. I want it. I want it so bad I can taste it.

But we know how this goes don’t we? I find this job search thing very familiar. It’s quite reminiscent of trying to find a man you like as well. You meet one, you kinda like him, he’s a good man, you have hope that he likes you too and BAM, you find out you were completely wrong and that he went with someone else.

Then you meet one you REALLY like, and you know you shouldn’t get your hopes up, cause this is something you really really want. And you try so hard to not get excited, not wonder what it would be like, not think that this is perfect.

But it is, and you know it. You’re just not sure if they know it.

So I’m holding my breath, at least until Labor Day, hoping against hope that this boy/job knows that they are the one for me.

Let’s also just say that I’m much more comfortable looking for a job than a man.

John is exquisite and he is the perfect one for me.

Viva La Juan. Nuff said.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Very important date

Okay! I’m in a rush, very important things happening, very important.

Here’s what I’ve learned this week:

1. Tell the truth when you can.
2. When you can’t, and you have to lie, do it with gusto
3. Going to the gym really does make one feel better
4. “xi” counts as a word in Scrabble
5. Usually when you talk about things you don’t want to talk about at all, you still feel better.

I’m very wise.

More later.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Faster than a speeding bullet

You know what’s so sad? When your friends are all away in NYC at the Fringe Festival, and your email is switched and you’re not getting any emails all day in your email box, which is your favorite thing to check throughout the day.

I’m very lonely!

Had a great weekend, it was quiet and I had NOTHING that I had to do. It’s been awhile since I’ve had NOTHING that I had to do and I gotta say…. I miss it. I love having NOTHING to do and it was quite relaxing.

Saturday we went and watched the planes at a fancy high rise in the Gold Coast. Less watching planes, more eating sammitches and brownies. Then we took off to a surprise party where oddly, not many people cared about the surprise. We saw the birthday boy coming and yelled at everyone and they all just turned around and looked at us like we were weird. Then when he came in everyone kinda looked at him and went back to what they were doing. Very odd. But great cake with great frosting.

Sunday, now Sunday…Sunday was the best.

I woke up around 10:30, refreshed and excited about the day. 78 degrees and beautiful. Just beautiful. I put on my headphones and got started on cleaning our place; poor John had to listen to me singing Wicked from the headphones. I whipped that up in about an hour and had to take off. John was working and needed some alone time anyway, so the Hixx ventured out on her own.

Now, I love being with John and would 99% of the time rather have him with me than not with me. But the Hixx alone is something to behold. I’m fast and expedient, dodging in and out of tourists like a bat outta hell. I got no ties and no one to worry about. I cruised down to Millennium Park, took a quick peek at the newly uncovered bean, walked along the lakefront to Navy Pier and watched the end of the air show, cruised over to Ogden Slip for some pre-movie relaxing, then on to the movie theater to see Red Eye, which I liked and cruised home to meet my baby for a kiss.

I was like a freaking gazelle.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Decent Docent

Next week I go to the open house for prospective docents at the Architecture Foundation to talk about my experiences as a first year docent. A year ago, I went to this same open house. I can’t believe it’s been a year.

I was so excited I thought I was going to explode.

And the great thing is, I’m still REALLY excited about it all. Now that I am one, and have been giving tours all summer, I love being a docent. I love saying that I am one and I love being one and I love giving tours, except when they suck it.

I find that giving tours is much like Improv. Mostly, they go pretty well (usually better than pretty well actually, there’s not so much risk with the tour, cause you know pretty much what you’re going to say). They clap and thank you and want to talk to you afterwards. But when it goes badly. Man. It’s just as bad if not worse than being in the worst improv show. And you feel badly, until the next tour comes to take your mind off of it.

A couple of weeks ago I gave a rotten tour to 4 rotten tourees. They were questioning me, yawning, hanging too far back, etc. It was just a nightmare. And the thing is, I knew right away it was going to be horrible, so that’s two hours of wandering around, knowing that they were going to hate the whole thing.

The next week, I gave the same tour to another group, and they were AWESOME. As we were walking along through the city the nice middle aged lady was just kinda of walking next to me, looking all around at nothing in particular and she said “this is just so much fun”. And I knew just what she meant. It is fun.

I give two tours, the Modern Skyscrapers and the Architecture of Culture and Commerce. The ACC tour is mostly Burnham, Worlds Fair, Sullivan, Cultural Center, the historic stuff (with Millennium Park thrown in, not unlike a modern day worlds fair is it not?). I have some great bits for this tour; it’s mostly stories about the personalities of Chicago, Potter Palmer and Marshall Fields. So easy to make it interesting, it is interesting and funny and touching and sad and amazing.

But the Modern Tour, the Modern tour is way different. It’s not cute, it’s exacting. It’s not touching, it’s awe-inspiring. I have NO BITS. There aren’t any. Mies Van der Rohe is not the most hilarious guy on the planet. So cutesy does not work. Me being enthusiastic and interested, no one cares. They want engineering, explanation; they don’t want funny marriage bits about Helmut Jahn and Skidmore Owings & Merrill. So it’s really hard, because I have to rely on what I know, about architecture. Not about what I know about Chicago or it’s history.

I love giving both tours. There’s more to learn architecturally on the Modern Tour, you’re actually teaching concepts, Modernism, Postmodernism. You’re teaching philosophies and techniques. The Historical tour, you’re showing them how amazing Chicago is, things you can’t imagine that we did, that they did.

Who knew it was A. Montgomery Ward that saved the lakefront from having structures built on it? And that he questioned if anyone would ever know what he did for the city? And when I tell my tourists this, I cry. Because I’m making sure they know how important this man was. And I cry at the end of this tour when I repeat Daniel Burnham’s quote “Make no little plans, they have no magic to stir men’s blood”.

I don’t cry on the Modern Tour, but I love giving it just as much.

So a year ago I knew nothing, except that I wanted desperately to know something.

And now I know, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg, but teach me more Windy City, teach me more.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Boring, I know, but I like it

I have not much to say today.

I have had a lovely week of game playing, sleeping, smooches and So You Think You Can Dance. Which I loved by the by, although I cannot commit two hours to watching each week, still fascinating.

Tonight there is more of the same.

Is mom moving home in a week?
Maybe.

Is there another promising something in the works I’m not getting my hopes up for?
Maybe.

Do I have a nice relaxing weekend ahead of me with my man and a lot of airplanes?
Absolutely.

So here’s to rainy Thursdays that turn into pretty Thursdays.
Here’s to Fridays and going to see the Aristocrats.

And here’s sales people in backrooms picking up their own phone calls.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Ladyfingers

Cheers to the Playstation.

Who knew my lack of gaming had something to do with the Xbox? Who knew after trying countless times to play some game and hating it and feeling completely spastic was not my fault? That it was the fault of a controller that was too big, with too many buttons that I have now forsworn?

WHO KNEW?

I got a new game last night. A game for my PS2. A girlie game, but a good game. It’s Psychonauts and so far, its awesome.

My hot stud of manliness has been working like an ox (a hot stud of manliness ox) all week, and I have been at home, bonding with my apartment, resting my little self, doing crosswords, listening to radios and now, finally now, playing video games.

Now, the men in my life, they insist it’s not the Xbox. How could it be? The Xbox is soooooo awesome. But have they ever tried to play Rogue Agent with lady hands? I believe not.

The buttons on the Xbox controller are different and the two joystick controllers on the bottom are different. I hate where the start buttons are and I hate the underside R12 and L12 buttons are. The PS2 controller is much easier for me to handle and therefore games are more enjoyable and therefore, I am a cool gamer chick once again.

if any gamer chicks would like to weigh in on this issue. I would love to hear your opinions.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The State of ME

My mom is Maine.

She moved this morning from her Assisted Living place in Evanston and is now in some beautiful house in Maine. Will she stay there? I don’t know. Is she okay? For now. Does my stupid stepfather have any idea how to take care of her at all? No. No one knows what’s going to happen to her or how this is going to work. But this is how it’s been for the past 5 months anyway, so, I’m just going with the flow.

She’s an amazing woman, she charmed all of her nurses and cracked them up doing imitations of everyone in the nursing home. They put make up on her and brought her juice, made sure her tv was working and put her in cute clothes. They sang to her and patted her back. She in turn sang to them, made them laugh, bought them James Taylor cd’s and racked that quiet place with her hilarious musings. She’s a brave woman and I’m going to miss her, no matter how long she’s gone.

SO. I’m exhausted. That kind of tired that you can’t put your finger on. But you know you’re so tired you don’t want to think, or talk, or do anything except sit in a dark room and play the eagerly anticipated Zelda that won’t be out for a few months.

So on to my life, fixing it, taking care of it, loving it, enjoying it. I have more time, more time to focus on me instead of my sweet mom, more time to concentrate on me and what I’ve been blowing off for months. Just in general, more time.

I hope to use it to my advantage. But tonight? Tonight I may go get a video game and go home and not talk, not think, not do anything but sit in a dark room.

Tomorrow, tomorrow is ANOTHER DAY.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Friday

The differences between what happens on Mondays to what happens on Fridays is always amazing to me.

In the beginning of the week I figured I would just fall down and die from the lack of promise and creativity in my life.

Today, Friday, I believe that there is something I can do about this. There is an answer I considered but never took seriously. That there is something missing from my resume and work experience that I can solve easily and somewhat quickly if I put my mind to it.

I’m also going to give myself a little bit of break. The past 6 months of my life have been the most emotional, the most gratifying, the most loving, the most depressing, the most inspiring and heartbreaking months of my whole life. Why is it I feel the need to push myself and my karma to the edge? Why not let my mind settle into it’s new life? Why not work on the things I need to make my actual living better? Dentists and bills and health and mind and body. Why is there such a sense of desperation in my living these days?

So, as my time grows freer in the next few months, I’m going to concentrate on some specific things, things that have nothing to do with money or jobs or materials. I’ll keep pursuing the things that interest me. And the things that don’t, I will turn them around to be things that do, if I have to do it, I will find a way to do it to my advantage.

Is it Friday that makes me more hopeful? Could be, no doubt my mental states are different at the beginning and end of weeks. Or is it the fact that I’ve allowed some catharsis after the beginning of the week?

Whatever it is, I’m glad I’m not feeling so badly. I’m happy for the things I have and happy that I’m annoyed I don’t have what I want. That means I want something more for myself.

But man, I so want a Big Mac and a chocolate shake.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Here's to the ladies who lunch

Well, I leave here early today to go to my mom’s going away party. I’ve gotten a lot of sympathy looks that I have to hang out with my mom and her older lady friends.

However, these ladies are the most bawdy, loudest, craziest ladies ever. I’m excited to be there and really glad I can be there for mom, who is the sweetest lady on the planet.

I too went out with my lady friends last night, and just enjoyed myself immensely. I learned that we all hate our jobs, hate them. That we all want to run away. That we all don’t talk about men all the time. (The question was once asked “So how is it living with John? And before I got a word in it was dropped in favor of discussing the break up of Jen Scheft and Billy Dec). And that basically we’re all scared and have no idea what’s going on.

So yay to the ladies who lunch…well…dinner.

I’m feeling much better today, and don’t care about any stupid jobs! With the realization that I get a raise in September and the other realization that I will probably be here for awhile yet, I’m trying to settle back in, be happy I have a job at all and one that is not so bad with the exception of every Indian man with a long name calling in.

It could be worse.

Or…I could be Tara Reid, who despite being talentless and getting paunchy, seems to have the best job in the entire world. I watched “Wild on Tara Reid” last night and it became my new favorite in the space of 10 seconds. This girl gets to go to some beautiful place, with her friends (she calls it her “crew”) and gets to play, eat, drink, dance and do whatever she wants.

And I loved it.

Last night she was in Greece, in Athens and happened to run into Paris Hilton. So I got to watch them sit and eat and flirt and say the stupidest things and it was just awesome.

Just a tad better than Dlist celebrity with Kathy Griffin, which is on at the same time.

Winter’s coming.

TV is coming.

Life goes on.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Wilding

Well, as no one can sustain the foul mood of a birthday gone bad, I feel better today.

Thank you for my well wishes, and my assurances that midlife is not till 40. However, women are more mature then men, so it would make sense that mine would start now.

I’m happy to feel today, that my crisis is fascinating.

I was so freaking close to just not coming in here today. I was already here, at work, outside, and I swear I was one unconnected neuron away from walking away from it. Never coming back, going to buy a 40 ouncer at 8:30 in the morning and just not coming back. Taking a long walk around the city and finding myself some crazy job on some South Wells bar. I almost still wish I had. My head is more about me now, and I would never do that, all the more reason I should have done it this morning.

But man, this morning I was so close to just ditching society and it’s shits and taking a walk far away.

And I do feel better, and I do have my head about me today, but I feel…still crazy. Still a little fricking whack, that the possibility of just doing something I would never do could still happen. Maybe it’s a secret hope.

I do believe that to break out of the “societal chains” most people have to have something crazy happen. Or they wake up one day and actually do what I wanted, just let go of it. And there’s a part of me that is so jealous of that, that I wish something like that would happen to me, that I’d wake up tomorrow with the knowledge that I’m not playing the game anymore.

I don’t need a house, I don’t need a retirement plan, I don’t need these things that I’m forced to believe I need. Why not take off? Walk away from it? Sell the new old couch and my Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer stuffed animal and take my 50$ and go get on a bus, and just land…wherever. Write, work, experience, travel, hell, even if it’s on the Greyhound.

And I think what’s partly so depressing and repressing of me, is that I fear I’ll never do that.

I fear that I’ll be breaking my back for all of the things I don’t want and need till the day I die.

There is no way this ain’t a midlife crisis.

Or menopause.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Prime numbers

Well folks, it’s my 35th birthday.

And my mother tells me I’m a beautiful middle aged woman. And I’m starting to believe her.

Because I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.

But, who wants to hear about a midlife crisis? No one really, no one does. Suffice it to say that all those promising things are no longer promising and are now poop on the feet of homeless midgets.

And I think my internet just went down.

So! Tonight anyway, I’ll be having meat and cheese for dinner, along with a cake I don’t want from work. All the twenty year olds can laugh at the old lady with birthday cake.

And maybe a couch! A new couch, a new old couch. Which is just about the thing I want most in the world anyway, so yay for the couch.

So here’s to birthdays and mid life crisi (ses?) and the days after birthdays, which will maybe be more promising than the birthday itself.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Pride

Started a new Chicago book, introduced with this poem from Carl Sandburg. My favorite part highlighted in bold. Well known poem, but always worth reading again:

HOG Butcher for the World,
Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,
Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;
Stormy, husky, brawling,
City of the Big Shoulders:

They tell me you are wicked and I believe them, for I
have seen your painted women under the gas lamps
luring the farm boys.
And they tell me you are crooked and I answer: Yes, it
is true I have seen the gunman kill and go free to
kill again.
And they tell me you are brutal and my reply is: On the
faces of women and children I have seen the marks
of wanton hunger.
And having answered so I turn once more to those who
sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer
and say to them:
Come and show me another city with lifted head singing
so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.
Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on
job, here is a tall bold slugger set vivid against the
little soft cities;

Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning
as a savage pitted against the wilderness,
Bareheaded,
Shoveling,
Wrecking,
Planning,
Building, breaking, rebuilding,
Under the smoke, dust all over his mouth, laughing with
white teeth,
Under the terrible burden of destiny laughing as a young
man laughs,
Laughing even as an ignorant fighter laughs who has
never lost a battle,
Bragging and laughing that under his wrist is the pulse.
and under his ribs the heart of the people,
Laughing!
Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of
Youth, half-naked, sweating, proud to be Hog
Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, Player with
Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.

Friday, August 05, 2005

G ME

Wow, for what I thought was going to be a slow boring day, it has turned out to be quite busy and I have done something I haven’t done in years.

Something amazing. Something different. Something…sexy and nerdy.

I got myself a gmail account.

I’m so confused.

First of all, this “conversation” thread thing has me totally confused. I know I’ll get used to it and will probably love it, but for now? I think it’s dumb.

But I’m going to do it, I’m going to figure it out, it just seems like there’s so much writing on the page. And I’m not sure how to deal with it.

Now with the changing of an email, which is way way more complicated than changing an actual physical address, comes the massive amounts of emails saying hello after you’ve told everyone that you’ve changed your address. This is why I picked this particular project today, Friday, August 5th, 2005.

Precisely because I felt like doing no work today, not knowing the amazing amount of work it takes to change one’s email address.

And as it dawns on me, the implication of the big step I have taken, I realize I might cry a little bit, when I think of everything I sign into that has my email on it. The netflix, the amazon, the new york times. Must I change this email on each one of these things I constantly sign into? Must my whole identity change with the acquisition of said gmail?

Anyways, this weekend is shaping up to be a good one, with drinks with friends tonight, to Millennium Park tomorrow night and a river cruise on Sunday. The weather is supposed to be lovely and I have a sweet, sexy man to spend it with.

Boy will John be mad when he finds out!

I’m hilarious.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Hey man, nice grass

Ugh, I just looked at my “final project” for my docenting. I have to go see 5 more tours before the end of the year, and finish the tours I still need to give.

MY LORD I HAVE GIVEN MY LIFE FOR THE LIKES OF LOUIS SULLIVAN AND MIES VAN DER ROHE. And what do I get in return? What? Bored people staring at their watches.

Actually, not true, I love giving tours, but the Modern one is messing with me head. Because those people on my last tour were so extremely bored.

Anyhow, I have done very little work today and plan on hopping on the IM messenger any moment. So there.

I’ve started the classic Grass is Greener (which some friend of the family suggested should be all of our last names) and since things are so promising (cross fingers and toes) I’ve started to feel very safe and nostalgic about my current position.

I know for a fact it’s time to go, I’m the oldest one here, other people are surprised at how long I’ve been here, because people in this position are not expected to stay as long as I have. I know that it’s time.

But man, safety is a bitch ain’t it? All comfy in my chair, in the quiet lobby, with my green tea and my job that I know how to do like the back of my hand. Any problem I know how to deal with it, any issue that comes up, I got it. I could do it with my eyes closed; I know exactly what to expect each day and exactly how much work I need to do to do it. I can IM, email, do homework, read Television Without Pity and use the stamps for my own purposes. There is no fear here (except for being stuck here for the rest of my godforsaken life); there is no risk, no chances, no failures.

But we all know this right? Without these things there is no success, no learning, no growing.

But fascinating how our minds play tricks on us, one day I hate this place more than anything, the next day, under the pretense of having to leave it, I love it and will consider it “the good ole days”.

There is one constant, one thing that holds true, no matter where I am, who I’m with or what I’m doing.

I hate the goddamn phones.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

All over

Has anyone ever had bad bread before?

Not moldy, just…something inherently wrong with the bread? I made myself a pb&j on the Wonder low carb bread and it was foul.

And now I’m starving.

Because I went to something promising at lunch. And it remains promising. And it will remain promising until I hear an answer one or t’other, depending on when that is. So just trust me, cross your fingers and trust me.

I have gay sandals on.

They are like a mixture of little girl sandals and old lady sandals. And they hurt so much. I had to walk like 4 blocks and they’re killing me.

I watched Kinsey last night. And I loved it. Liam Neeson was awesome, Laura Linney is always awesome and even though he lived in such a different time (people not knowing what oral sex is?) his theories still prove true, which is everyone is different.

I have a friend, who is incredibly smart, she reads this blog, so hello to you if you’re reading this. She asks me a lot if she’s normal, or if her thoughts are normal, or do I think this way too? Then when I say I do too, she seems so relieved. WATCH THIS MOVIE.

There is no normal, there is no regular, there is no mainstream, there is no something EVERYONE does besides poops and dies. Everything else in between is fair game. There is no right answer, or wrong one, there just is. I’m so yoda-ish.

Alright, that’s enough, I can’t concentrate, I’m all over the place. I gotta go.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Playing Misty

It’s been the weirdest day here at work.

I have no idea what’s going on, but there is a vibe here I can’t put my finger on. I have weird candidates asking for weird things.

This morning it was busier here than I’ve ever seen it in my two years.

My boss asked me a question about how my mom was and then promptly turned her back on me and walked away. The best part was, she turned around again and asked me if my mom was back…

Back from where?

Then when I tried to form some sort of answer to that question, she promptly turned around and walked away again.

Huh.

The ladies room key has been missing since this morning. I’ve made it so that everyone here has to take the key on a great big key ring, so they don’t get lost (I swear, this is my job, making big keyrings for the bathroom keys) and someone took it off my big keyring and then promptly lost it.

Our emails come from something called “The Bullpen” which is what they call the back sales room. The Bullpen. So today one of the candidates called and asked if he could speak to Bullpen.

Luckily my day is almost over, because I’m really confused.

My birthday is a week from today, for all those people who would like to buy me something pretty.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Recap

Well, the two promising things remain..promising. So we’ll see, I’ve also gotten some other calls today regarding work, so when it rains it pours. I must try and remember this when it seems like the drought.

Loving the metaphors.

Went to see Band Geeks over the weekend and it was awesome. Totally funny, totally upbeat, an incredibly talented cast with no weak link (how many shows can you say that about?). I had a great time and highly recommend it.

Friday night I left it up to John to figure out what we were going to do for the night. And of course he’s brilliant and wonderful, so he took me to the number 4 Burger from the Tribune. We went to the Select Cut Steakhouse on Halsted. And it was pretty good, I have to admit.

John suggested I start my own list, of what I think is the best. So I may do that when I have more time. But suffice it to say that for right now:

1. Biasetti’s
2. Hackneys (it’s partly because of the onion rings and nostalgia)
3. Moodys
4. Select Cut (consistent #4?)
5. I gotta say, the Mystic Celt burger is one I think about long after I’ve had it.

So that was just off the top of me head, I’ll change it as my moods and experiences change.

I gave a Modern Tour on Sunday and the people that took it (one couple, one man and his 12 year old son) could not have been more bored. I was practically doing my Mies Van der Rohe dance just to get them into it. It was horrible. They yawned, they sat down all the time, they talked amongst themselves. So bad. It was my 1st really hard tour and it’s just as bad as a bad improv show. Blech, phooey, no more of those. Although I’m sure they do happen from time to time. I just hope it’s not consistent.

We’ve been watching the latest season of Entourage and John just got it on DVD for the 1st season. I love Jeremy Piven, he loves Debbie Mazar so we’re good to go. It’s a great show though, loving it.

But tonight, TONIGHT is the finale of Hell’s Kitchen, we’ll be munching on special potstickers and crab Rangoon. YUM.

That’s about it for now, I will keep all updated on the promising things.