Friday

The differences between what happens on Mondays to what happens on Fridays is always amazing to me.

In the beginning of the week I figured I would just fall down and die from the lack of promise and creativity in my life.

Today, Friday, I believe that there is something I can do about this. There is an answer I considered but never took seriously. That there is something missing from my resume and work experience that I can solve easily and somewhat quickly if I put my mind to it.

I’m also going to give myself a little bit of break. The past 6 months of my life have been the most emotional, the most gratifying, the most loving, the most depressing, the most inspiring and heartbreaking months of my whole life. Why is it I feel the need to push myself and my karma to the edge? Why not let my mind settle into it’s new life? Why not work on the things I need to make my actual living better? Dentists and bills and health and mind and body. Why is there such a sense of desperation in my living these days?

So, as my time grows freer in the next few months, I’m going to concentrate on some specific things, things that have nothing to do with money or jobs or materials. I’ll keep pursuing the things that interest me. And the things that don’t, I will turn them around to be things that do, if I have to do it, I will find a way to do it to my advantage.

Is it Friday that makes me more hopeful? Could be, no doubt my mental states are different at the beginning and end of weeks. Or is it the fact that I’ve allowed some catharsis after the beginning of the week?

Whatever it is, I’m glad I’m not feeling so badly. I’m happy for the things I have and happy that I’m annoyed I don’t have what I want. That means I want something more for myself.

But man, I so want a Big Mac and a chocolate shake.