The State of ME

My mom is Maine.

She moved this morning from her Assisted Living place in Evanston and is now in some beautiful house in Maine. Will she stay there? I don’t know. Is she okay? For now. Does my stupid stepfather have any idea how to take care of her at all? No. No one knows what’s going to happen to her or how this is going to work. But this is how it’s been for the past 5 months anyway, so, I’m just going with the flow.

She’s an amazing woman, she charmed all of her nurses and cracked them up doing imitations of everyone in the nursing home. They put make up on her and brought her juice, made sure her tv was working and put her in cute clothes. They sang to her and patted her back. She in turn sang to them, made them laugh, bought them James Taylor cd’s and racked that quiet place with her hilarious musings. She’s a brave woman and I’m going to miss her, no matter how long she’s gone.

SO. I’m exhausted. That kind of tired that you can’t put your finger on. But you know you’re so tired you don’t want to think, or talk, or do anything except sit in a dark room and play the eagerly anticipated Zelda that won’t be out for a few months.

So on to my life, fixing it, taking care of it, loving it, enjoying it. I have more time, more time to focus on me instead of my sweet mom, more time to concentrate on me and what I’ve been blowing off for months. Just in general, more time.

I hope to use it to my advantage. But tonight? Tonight I may go get a video game and go home and not talk, not think, not do anything but sit in a dark room.

Tomorrow, tomorrow is ANOTHER DAY.