Sunday, April 24, 2016

I'm a Barefoot, Eccentric, Old Lady

Man. Prince.

I'm sad pretty honestly.

Anyhoo, April was quite a month. I had 3.5 scary/cool/butscary things happening in April. And I'm a worrier and a planner, so April has been on my radar for awhile now. I've had fear and apprehension about all 3.5.

My fear, in hindsight, was never all that serious. I think it's how I motivate myself actually. I planned really well for all 3.5 of these things and all 3.5 turned out well because of my pre-planning. Actual things fixed because I PLANNED for them to go wrong. My fear led me all scenarios and to figure out answers for each scenario.

And it helped! So. I'm bringing back fear. It's not so bad.

My last of 3.5 things was yesterday and it turned out more beautifully than I could have hoped. My last of the 3.5 turned out the best and they all turned out pretty well.

But today I am WIPED. I feel like I'm sick and I know that I'm not. I had a thing to go to today, a thing I really wanted to go to on this bright sunshiney day and I set out to go there and I couldn't. My feet would not take me there. So I listened. And it is pretty out.

So I slow-walked. I took it so slow today. I wanted the sunshine, I wanted to move, but not hard, not fast.

I've been practicing my barefoot walking. It's what I'm into now, there are some who say it's all about learning to walk barefoot again, as someone who really is into my feet and walking and staying mobile - it makes really logical sense.

When was the last time you tried walking barefoot, like, down the street? And not the concrete, that's not great either, but in the grass on the side?

IT'S HARD. It's really hard. It takes total focus so as not to hurt myself/step in poop/step on a bee/whatever. So it's slow-going now for me in the beginning. And I'm shocked, completely shocked at how I've lost touch with my feet. Seriously. It is odd and uncomfortable to walk barefoot, I'm looking to change that.

But like I said, it's slow-going, so I don't listen to podcasts or music, I'm generally looking down the whole time, I need to keep everything focused on my next step, so the other great thing about it is, it's really quiet. My ears are quiet, my voice, my mind even, because it's focusing hard on what it's doing.

And then afterwards? My feet tingle! It feels SO GOOD. It's like fucking nerves waking up, it is so nice and ....

I took this really nice, quiet, barefoot walk in my neighborhood.

I'm getting old and eccentric maybe.

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