Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Eight Worldy Winds

I won't talk too much about Buddhism here, that's my own thing and if you're curious about my thoughts on it, you'll ask me.

BUT. Heh.

There are eight worldly winds:
Gain and Loss
Pleasure and Pain
Fame and Infamy
Praise and Blame

The idea is, don't give much credence to one over the other right? You can't walk around all proud of your gain and yell and scream about your loss.

They're all the same see? Floating in and out of your life.

I've had this amazing experience happen before, but I just had an amazing worldly wind experience happen to me last night.

I HAD A BIG FUCKING WIN last night. A big win. I've been working on something, an important person liked what I did and it was A HUGE FUCKING SCORE and it was praise and I ate it up.

And I'll tell you, the physical reaction to great praise, is pretty much the exact same reaction to great blame.

I got shaky, my stomach felt tight, my breathing got lighter and faster, my head bowed down, my fingers rolling through my hair and then what shocked me about my great praise?

I started to cry.

YES I AM A WOMAN, and yes we cry at intense emotion (it's when you cry when you're quitting a job, or really angry that is so frustrating), but it was the exact same tears, face, body stance, as crying when upset or taking blame.

Everytime I get a good Trip Advisor review, my heart starts to beat, my stomach sinks, I get really hot. Once when I got the worst review EVER that anyone has ever gotten, my heart started to beat, my stomach sank and I got really hot.

I don't know, it was just really interesting to me that emotion is emotion and you can't let any of it sink and stay. They're just winds, blowing around, one no more important than the other.


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