Wednesday, May 08, 2013


Man, this weather just does it for us doesn't it? Changes everything. mmmmm....

So, I think I'm really getting old. It's kind of fun.

I'm working on "wrapping my arms around my life." I generally like to think I do that anyway, but I'm working on it on a deeper level. Really learning to like me and not be too hard on me when it's not necessary, not beating up on myself, for real - not like - beating up on myself for beating up on myself, I'm real good at that move.

Anyway, it's nice, but one thing that's happening is I'm becoming a goody-goody I think. John and I laughed at ourselves last night when we went out for a "treat run" for different flavors of sparkling water...

I eat a lot of sugar. A lot.  No one really believes me, but I can consume up to 600 calories after 9:00PM. It used to be a cute character trait but I think it's really bad for me and it's all about compulsion and I so don't want to be compulsive anymore and it makes it harder on my lil organs and I'm really trying to cheer them on - so...

I cut out A LOT of sugar. A lot. I'm adding and taking away things one at a time. So for my first sugar cut the rule was that I can have chocolate, but only chocolate. No cookies, no ice cream, etc. And then I picked good chocolate naturally, no corn syrup and hydrogenated bullshit, but...3 ingredient chocolate. And it's been really okay. I'm not sure I "feel" better, but it's one more thing I don't have to beat myself up over. It's one more thing I don't have to worry about (becoming diabetic has always been in the background while I mow down on a Milky Way), so already, it's one less thing my brain needs.

I'm an older person, I'm taking care of myself, exercising, going to bed early, eating (mostly) lame. And it's kind of so freaking great.

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