Friday, May 10, 2013


My god.

Between the girls in the house, the lady they found in the rubble after SEVENTEEN DAYS in Bangladesh, the other 1,000 people that died there, Jody Arias, the lady who died at Wrigley choking on a hot dog, the bombings, those brothers...

Fuck me.

I just.

I don't even know you know?

Do I watch? Do I keep up with it all? Should I not watch the news?

I'm really not sure.

But I will tell you that I'm absolutely terrified. So scared. Of so many things.

The Buddha will tell me to walk towards it. To face it. Become familiar with it because I will always have fear. So I might as well get real friendly with it so I recognize it when it starts to affect my life and my actions.

One guys said it's like a telephone pole - when they first put up telephone poles, they would fall all the time and they were hurting people. One new guy said "If I see a falling telephone pole I'm running as far as I can!" and the old-timer says "The thing you want to do is get right up close to the telephone pole, put your hands on it, that's the safest place to be."

That makes sense when you think on it.


I'm also having trouble with the, "well if you're scared, you better enjoy it RIGHT NOW, ENJOY EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOU COULD DIE FROM A HOT DOG TOMORROW!"

It's still propagating the fear that one. Keep being scared, you should be, it could all be gone in a minute.  How am I supposed to enjoy anything? I'm terrified!

Anyway, I'll try walking toward it, loving it in fact, holding my fear in my arms and kissing it on the head.

But it's hard.


Erica said...

Don't watch the news. There is so much awful out there, and the news wants to sensationalize everything and whip people into a frenzy and people love being whipped into frenzies (and it is easy to do). So don't be a part of the chaos and the fear. It is good to stay informed some of the time, sure, but if we knew about all the things out in the world, it would be too much for our meager little human brains. We aren't meant to know it all or handle it all.

Instead, turn it off. Listen to the birds. Smell the air. Make eye contact with strangers and smile at them. There is so much love and beauty out there. And the best way to see it is without the aid of a tv or computer or phone screen.

None of us know what is going to happen to us at any moment. If we strive to be happy in each moment, hopefully we can avoid fear or get out of the habit of being afraid.

It is ok to be ignorant about some things some times.

Hixx said...

Thank you. I think you're right. For awhile we were watching BBC news and that helped but now it seems like scary news from all over the world.

Erica, you are great.