Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Home - Jig Jig Jig

I'm home I'm home!

Got home Saturday and it has been a whirlwind since. Nice to have a moment to sit down with my lil blog.

So, Maine.

Maine was something. Maine was hilarious. And sad. And touching. And anger-inducing. And BEAUTIFUL. And rich. And...so many things.

Mom is everywhere in Maine. Even in the airport when we got off the plane...mom was always there waiting for us when we get off at our gate. Not this time.

Driving the 90 minutes to my aunt and uncle's house, right near where mom used to live, my brothers and I felt mom every step of the way. So many memories, it was almost overwhelming. 

We stayed with my aunt and uncle (Sasta and Peeper dontcha know), Sasta (Aunt Meggie) is my mom's sister, Peeper - her husband.

Their house is beautiful, acres of green, green land. Overwhelming.

And we laughed oh my god how my brothers can make me laugh. Even in the direst of straits, no one, NO ONE makes me laugh like my brothers do. And we're so bad. We say the worst things and the best things.

On the day we planned to spread mom's ashes, it was POURING. I don't mean a little rain, but POURING.

We went to mom's favorite place, Back Cove, where she used to walk Amy, her Golden Retriever. It was so surreal, with the rain, swimmers in the cove (we don't know either, don't ask) and a lady fishing off the bridge where we all wanted to spread mom. Why she was fishing when it's pouring rain, only Maine can answer.

My brother Stuart was smart enough to bring little plastic cups that we could all share some of mom (I'm not really sure how else to put this) on our own. So we all traipsed off under our umbrellas - or not - and found a place to say goodbye.

Bear with me, if you're sensitive about death and humor, might want to stop now - but we all had leftover ash on our hands, because we were soaking wet, it kind of got everywhere. My cousin John comes out with wet naps for us all and the new invention of the word "ash wipe" was invented.


Oh man we laughed.

We ate lobster, we talked so much about Mom and Dad, funny stories, terrible stories.

Then we drove up to Camden to stay with an old family friend of ours, one of mom's oldest friends, her house is the most beautiful place on earth. Right on a beautiful lake, big HUGE cabin, more lobster, swimming, sitting on a raft laughing some more.

And then we left. Left beautiful Maine where it wouldn't surprise me if I never made it back again, although I would love to, because like my mother that place inspires much in me. Even on the rainy, cold, winter, sunshiney, cloudy days, Maine is beautiful no matter what.

Saturday is mom's memorial service here, a casual affair at Hackneys out in the burbs.

And then? Then it's over. Then it's done. At least as far as memorials go.

And it was great to be home. To see John and my dog. To sleep in my bed. To get back to routine. To work. To play.

Yet I find I am still anxious, restless, unsure of my next moves.

But I do know that my family is everything. My brothers are everything and I'm so so thankful they exist in my world. And honestly, a little sad for you all that you will not have the brothers I have. Because they're the best in the whole world.


Erica said...

Oh, Margaret. So many tears flowing from my face right now.

Love to you.

Melisa said...

I love this. I don't even know what else to say about it.

Hendo said...

I know you're restless now, so I wish you peace in the time to come.