Okay, so its...Monday?
My god. Friday feels like ages ago. I've been through the whole world of everything since Friday.
But I'm good. I really am.
A few things to notice about how I'm carrying grief:
1. I feel the need to sit down a lot. I get a little shaky if I'm up for too long. Tours are still a little hard just because I don't feel solid quite yet.
2. Oddly enough, the need to sit down occurs mostly by a lovely tree. I'll just be walking down the sidewalk and think "how lovely to sit under that tree."
3. I'm going to take that personally, and start sitting under more trees.
4. I go through waves of emotion, I feel good and light and energized and then I feel tired and like I want to sit in the dark...under trees.
5. Still very insular, but I want to come back to the world of socialization....eventually.
6. It still makes perfect sense that mom isn't here, somehow that's still okay with me.
7. I've been waiting for my "sign" that mom loves me. My butterfly, my wayward penny, a dream...so far...nothing.
8. I'm good. I really am.
My god. Friday feels like ages ago. I've been through the whole world of everything since Friday.
But I'm good. I really am.
A few things to notice about how I'm carrying grief:
1. I feel the need to sit down a lot. I get a little shaky if I'm up for too long. Tours are still a little hard just because I don't feel solid quite yet.
2. Oddly enough, the need to sit down occurs mostly by a lovely tree. I'll just be walking down the sidewalk and think "how lovely to sit under that tree."
3. I'm going to take that personally, and start sitting under more trees.
4. I go through waves of emotion, I feel good and light and energized and then I feel tired and like I want to sit in the dark...under trees.
5. Still very insular, but I want to come back to the world of socialization....eventually.
6. It still makes perfect sense that mom isn't here, somehow that's still okay with me.
7. I've been waiting for my "sign" that mom loves me. My butterfly, my wayward penny, a dream...so far...nothing.
8. I'm good. I really am.
5 comments:
I think the trees are your sign, Margaret. xo
Loving you.
Trees. Deep roots to ground you and branches reaching out to your future. It's trees.
Aw ladies. I love you guys. It's the TREES stupid.
Duh.
i love it. they're always there -- going through seasons, ever changing -- but they're there. silently listening, with great life energy. yay trees.
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