Guh, I'm so up and down these days.
The phones have stopped ringing, emails have basically stopped coming in and I'm FREAKING OUT. Yes yes, I realize, this is what I've been waiting for. And yes, I have tons of work to do. And yes, it's supposed to get quiet when it's 30 degrees out, but I'm SCARED.
Or something.
John and I are a little flush right now, with money saved for the holidays, for taxes and other things, we're trying to take care of a bunch of business now. New coat, new shoes, new glasses.
Today I didn't have a tour so I went downtown, and shopped.
It was horrible.
I hate shopping.
And it felt so weird to not be "working" and going downtown and BUYING things.
But secretly, it also felt awesome.
So does having a day of work ahead of me without time constraints.
My friend John Alcott says it's going to take a couple of weeks. To really settle into it. And that I should enjoy it. But I have this weird guilt thing that takes over and if I'm not doing something, I feel really weird about that.
So I'm working on it. I'm working on not working. I'm working on not freaking out and enjoying. I'm working on working at my level and my pace and not worrying so much about something that I really don't need to worry about.
Guh.
Back to work.
The phones have stopped ringing, emails have basically stopped coming in and I'm FREAKING OUT. Yes yes, I realize, this is what I've been waiting for. And yes, I have tons of work to do. And yes, it's supposed to get quiet when it's 30 degrees out, but I'm SCARED.
Or something.
John and I are a little flush right now, with money saved for the holidays, for taxes and other things, we're trying to take care of a bunch of business now. New coat, new shoes, new glasses.
Today I didn't have a tour so I went downtown, and shopped.
It was horrible.
I hate shopping.
And it felt so weird to not be "working" and going downtown and BUYING things.
But secretly, it also felt awesome.
So does having a day of work ahead of me without time constraints.
My friend John Alcott says it's going to take a couple of weeks. To really settle into it. And that I should enjoy it. But I have this weird guilt thing that takes over and if I'm not doing something, I feel really weird about that.
So I'm working on it. I'm working on not working. I'm working on not freaking out and enjoying. I'm working on working at my level and my pace and not worrying so much about something that I really don't need to worry about.
Guh.
Back to work.
No comments:
Post a Comment