Friday, April 22, 2011

Too old for this shit

I had a friend tell me a few weeks back that she thought she had "lost a friend." I looked at her, totally confused.

You lost a friend? How does that happen anymore? At 40 years old someone decides they're just not going to be friends with someone? It's so high school. No one ever gets "mad" like that anymore unless said friend did something REALLY dramatic, which still, just doesn't happen so much anymore.

I haven't "lost a friend" in years.

So, I also haven't been really angry in years. I don't "get mad" at people anymore. It just doesn't happen like that you know? Does this make sense? Sure, John and I argue or quibble, but we don't fight. I don't fight with my friends, they're my friends! I don't fight with my family either, we definitely quibble, but I don't GET MAD at them.

Today I got mad at someone. Today I'm close to being in a fight with someone and it's really really odd.

It's not a friend, or even someone I have a relationship with. It's someone who's supposed to be helping my mom and isn't and has been getting away with it for years mom really likes him.


It's Good Friday. And I'm not a religious person at all, but I have to tell you, it's really awesome to read about how other people feel about this weekend, rebirth, many people honor this holiday, I figure I better figure out how to honor the idea of it, with this effing anger I have.

Anger...god it's so weird. Shaking anger...

So thank you to you of the religious sort out there, you're actually making me think twice about my anger and how to deal with it, make the problem better and find a way to not be angry.

Although, it feels a little good. Wow, anger can really fire you up no? Shit, I could run a marathon right now.

No wonder it's so addictive.

So people, go out there, have a great weekend, honor whatever it is you honor this weekend and shoot...maybe the sun and the flowers will come out?


Mental P Mama said...

When it's a parent or a child, and the other has no integrity? Anger is necessary. Trust.

Hixx said...

Ah, thank you for that. And it's true, anger is necessary sometimes right? You know when you feel it that something is definitely up.

Yay. Thank you for that.