Thursday, September 09, 2010

Something that hit me

as I was riding my bike to moms today...

I had my music playing, cruising down the bike path, green trees everywhere and the smell of water in the air...

I was dancing on my bike, singing and dancing, not caring who was looking and who was around me and it occurred to me: I'm totally free.

So many of the people that we met at BM were searchers, people looking for answers. Sure, a lot of the people there are happy in their outside world, happy with their jobs and lovers and lives, but it hit me like a ton of bricks - I'm not really searching for anything on the Playa.

I am more free here. I have a great husband who supports every step I take, a beautiful dog, a lovely apartment, a job I love that challenges the hell out of me, great friends who understand me and I live in the city I have chosen to live in.

I went to the desert to see if I could do it, and I did it. Once there, it became about looking at others, looking at their art, talking to them about their lives, seeing how they built their shade structure... but I wasn't running away from anything or running towards anything.

I wonder if that makes a difference somehow...

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