Monday, November 10, 2008

Things and such

Hi Monday!

Hi 3 mile run today in the cool cool weather and the sunshine! HI!

So, I had a really fantastic weekend this weekend. It was a friend ours birthday and it was a riot. I don't know whats going on with my friends, but we're having some kind of love fest. I think its coming from weddings and marriages and engagements and people having a hard time, but still having a good time and there's just this ring around our little group that is lovely. I had such a good time this weekend. Really.

I also had a really great conversation with my brother Andrew on Friday. Andrew has been a real leader in my life, he's always giving me books to read, or places to see or things to think about, he's a teacher and I think he's really been teaching me my whole life. I've seen how things go, having 3 older brothers, and I learn from their experiences and then they teach me things and its neat.

This conversation with my brother was very enlightening. He understands very much where I'm coming from when I say that I hate applying for all these jobs I'm not getting and that I really don't want them to begin with. Andrew has a wanderer's heart, and a minimilist's heart, and kind of a a Buddha's heart and is always bringing things to a simpler answer, to a simpler thought and has always made sure I knew this was okay for me too.

He understands about disobeying (he was the one who gave me that book) and has in some ways shown me the way to do that. He's rebelled and disboyed in his life and its turned out really well for him.

Anyway, I was pretty lost in all my thoughts and my brother just helped sort them out for me. I walked away from that conversation feeling more hopeful than I have in awhile, gently hopeful.

It's like running. You have to learn to love the uncomfortable. Running is very uncomfortable, you're sweating and it hurts and you push through it and in some ways learn to love it. Change like this, crisis like this, confusion and unknowing...I have to learn to live within it and still seek out my solace within it. Too deep. Okay. Here's what Rahm Emanuel said:

“Rule one: Never allow a crisis to go to waste,” Mr. Emanuel said in an interview on Sunday. “They are opportunities to do big things.”

Yes. Big things. No small plans. Disobey. Make something beautiful.

Try to win.

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