Well, John and I are now bound forever and ever. No no, we didn’t run away and elope or anything mildly fun like that, but we did just go get joint back accounts.
Now please keep in mind that I love John with everything that I am, he is the one for me, I love him. I truly love him. I cannot wait to marry him and have a wonderful life together.
But honestly? I might throw up a little.
This is the real first thing (the ring was too, I mean...yeesh, and really? It just gets prettier every day), but this was the first tangible meshing besides putting our name on a lease. The first real leap of faith. And for a daughter of a mother who basically sacrificed everything because she had no money after a divorce, well…it was a pretty difficult step. I know it was for John too, it was for both of us.
So yeah, John can officially run away with all of our money to Vegas. Now, that would piss me off, but only because he went to Vegas without me.
Love you babe.
Okay, ISHT!
150. Woo hoo. I’m so bored by my weight.
Anyway, I still haven’t been exercising due to the neck, it is still just a bajillion times better, I just don’t want to rehurt it in any way. So I’m waiting for the warmer weather, and I’m going to attack running next week and train for the Shamrock Shuffle on 3/30. Which I still think I’ll be okay for. Hopefully.
What I’d really like to talk about today though, is the not smoking. I’m not even sure where I am anymore. I think maybe…14 weeks? 15 weeks? Not sure. But I want to tell everyone out there, every single person out there, 3 months. That’s what it takes. 3 months.
There are still times I want one, but oh my god it is so few and far between, and again, usually when someone else is. I barely think about it anymore, and when I do, it is not with pain and anguish, but a vague sense of longing.
I was watching Oprah last night (blue man anyone?) and Dr. Oz was talking to the people who are just quitting, like 7-9 days in and Oz and Opes are congratulating these people like the hard work is done and I was sitting there thinking “these people are freaking out right now, they’re not in their right minds, they’re still in the beginning of this horrible horrible phase” and I felt so sorry for them. And I am so so so thankful that it’s not my 9th day or my 10th day, because for me, like…3 weeks was the hardest. Yeah, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, when you’re supposed to be done, when no one cares anymore, when everything you used to do is being challenged, when you feel the sickest, when you’re spitting shit up, when you can’t get off the couch, can’t feel the difference…oh my god.
So to anyone out there who is still doing it, go ahead and stop. I’m not going to lie and say it’s changed my whole life, that I feel a million times better (I do feel some better, sure) but sometimes I think smoker’s biggest fear is that everything will feel different after they stop.
Well you won’t. You’ll feel the same, just without the hack and the guilt.
And by three months, I promise, you will be alright. You’ll be fine.
Do it, the Hixx told you to.
1 comment:
i don't know if this is totally uncool to say, especially since i'm not married or getting married, but i personally believe that if i get married i will have a joint checking account BUT i will also maintain my own personal checking account as well. for stupid stuff. manicures (if i got those) or haircuts or whatever. my partner would know about it, but i just would want to maintain some sort of autonomy. cause i think it's healthy not to completely meld.
i don't know. i don't know much.
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