Monday, January 14, 2008

Wiping my face clean

Well, at least I can’t say I’m bored!

What an interesting weekend and Monday morning I’ve had. I’m still processing some things, none of it bad, but my brain is wrapped around a few things over here, and now my brain is starting to just get cold, cause its damn cold out.

So…okay, this weekend. Friday night we stayed in and watched Mission Impossible on the HD. And I’ve seen that movie probably 8 times, and I love it. And I love Tom Cruise, and if you don’t, I don’t care. His movies rule. All there is to it.

Saturday John and I whipped our apartment into such a frenzy the dog didn’t even know where to stand. We were windexing and vacuuming and moving things and tossing things and our apartment looks like a million bucks! Saturday night we escorted my mom to a party hosted by one of her dearest friends. It was fun and weird and sad and inspiring. Mom can be a little nutty sometimes, and Sat night she was charming and silly and so brave. My little mom felt a bit nauseous and we went running into what we thought was the bathroom, which it wasn’t and mom is holding it in and I’m running around this fancy “champagne” party looking for a bucket, while John sweet talks all the 80 year olds outside and…it all turned out okay. Mom was fine, we went home soon after and the night was a success.

Sunday we worked and played and headed to a RECEPTION VENUE, yes I said it, a RECEPTION VENUE. We both really liked it a lot. It might even be the one. If I wasn’t nervous about saying yes to the first place we’ve seen, John and I basically would have the wedding done and planned in our first week trying it out! I mean, not really, but we’re both quite happy with what we saw. I will divulge where once we seal the deal…but for now, you’ll just have to wonder, but I will say this, I ain’t never heard of anyone I know having their reception at this particular place. Hee.

Last night I told John I wasn’t moving from the couch for 4 hours. I watched THE MOST touching episode of Friday Night Lights, I just cried all the way through. I watched some of Crowned and the different smiles (OH MY LORD).

This morning I went with a friend, a very new friend to help her get through a chemo session (none of you know this person, so you don’t have to worry that someone you know has cancer and you didn’t know). It was eye opening in many ways, of course; once again the little bird of priority poops on my head. What was weirdest was #1, the crazy dreams and the horrible sleep I had last night, if my dreams and anxieties for this woman were so intense, my god how does she sleep? #2, the “business” of it. Everyone waiting for their doctors, chemo, radiation, whatever, all had little beepers like you get at a restaurant when you’re waiting to be seated. You get up when your beeper goes, go to this place, get another beeper, go to this place. The beepers were distracting and loud and the waiting room was FILLED with people, so many people. But once we got inside and she was plugged in, we had a really nice conversation and we got to real feelings real fast, because, well ... what I was doing with her was intimate enough right away. So it felt nice to help someone, to make her smile when I know she wanted to cry, and it was also nice to talk to someone who’s a lot like me and a lot not like me. I don’t know…then it was really weird to walk into work after being immersed in someone’s crisis like that. Really strange.

Anyway, I’m processing my grown-upedness, my current luck in health and love, my journey with John in really making something OURS, planning something that’s OURS, and what fun that is.


Erica said...

You are a saint for taking your friend to Chemo. Good Lord, I know it is hard.

If you need to talk out some things to get the dreams out of your head, I am a good person for it. It might even help me, too.

Meat. Darkness. Growth. Pushing Tin.

Hixx said...

Thank you, but I am no saint. She might be, I just happen to be healthy.

Yeah, the dreams were a doozy, I can't imagine...

Pushing Tin. I almost have to get it now.