Friday, December 07, 2007


I would very much like to thank everyone for being so cool and supportive of all my crap this week. I always thought I could be bigger than this once I finally decided to quit. I still think I can, but this week just seems to be a wash huh? But it is incredibly helpful to know everyone is out there rooting for me, and that you all don’t think that I’m out of my mind (or maybe you think I am, but you’re all so nice for not saying so).

I know that I cannot stay at this level of uncomfortable for long, it’s not in my nature, so I’m going to give my own advice to myself that I give to other people when they feel shitty, and that advice is “Feel the shitty.” Brilliant huh? But really, feel it as deeply as you (I) can feel it, delve into it, explore it, feel it, and then let it go. So…I’m trying.

But no matter what kind of drama appears in my life, no matter what it is I have to go through on this journey of mine, NOTHING compares to what our friends in China have to do, muddy rice indeed.


I always love the family eps, it’s so fun to see all those people come out. Now, as for Todd and his Johnny Fairplay move, it is a bit suspicious no? Okay, holy mother, I just looked him up on the internets and our boy here is 22. His younger sister came to China, and then his sister younger than his sister had a miscarriage? Um…something is fishy here for sure. Miscarriages can only happen when you’ve been through puberty (I once had a friend who said puberty like “PuBEARty”, oh my god, I just remembered that). Okay, also, Todd is an openly gay Mormon. Um, what is going on here dude? How could your pre-pubescent sister be a pregnant Mormon? Oh my lord.

He must have been Johnny Fairplaying, he must have. Well, it worked, he got to go on the reward challenge, so who I am I to say anything? PG, if she makes it to the final three (Oh god please only have the final two this year, please?) might just win this thing, she has stuck it out this whole time, just like she said; she’s almost been out so many times. I don’t want her to win necessarily, but say she was up there with Todd and Courtney, I might just vote for her.
I hate Courtney, but I gotta say, I loved her English daddy and I didn’t mean for that to sound dirty.

Leslie/Denise absolutely did the right thing staying with her team. Because she votes out Erik, she only has one person mad on the jury…Erik. She votes out Todd, she has three people mad at her…she had to do it, I’m glad she made the decision she made. I didn’t fully understand the whole “nice life” thing Jeff set up with her. I mean, she has a husband? Is that it? And nice kids? My guess is, she’s not really rich if she’s a lunch lady, so even if she has a “nice life”, seems to me she might need the money more than anyone, I thought that whole thing was kind of odd.

So goodbye Virgin Erik, we hardly knew ye, apparently no one else really does either.

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