Okay, well, just so you know, Day 3 is sucking it.

I know I know, you can’t complain when you kinda brought it on yourself but blech. Do I feel horrible. Happily, not one part of this horribleness is making me want to smoke cigarettes; I’m too annoyed with them for making me feel this horrible to begin with.

I feel sick, sick to my stomach, sick in my head, my throat, my nose…and these are all good things, symptoms of my body getting itself back on track, so I’m okay with these things, mentally.

But I was not prepared for weepy Hixx. Yeach. It started this morning and has not stopped all day. I’ve been crying almost the whole day. Not sobbing, just sad little nicotine tears that drip down my face when anything resembling deviance from day shows its head. So now I feel awful, and weepy…all leading to feeling sorry for myself.

Right, you’re right! No more martyring. I’m trying, I really am. I ate too much yesterday, nothing horrible, just too much, so this morning I had nice yogurt and fruit, a salad for lunch, I’m going to run my ass off tonight and know with everything that I am that that will help me a lot.

Ack, I already feel like a doofus for complaining at all. It’s literally like I have no right to complain or even feel badly…it’s all my own fault and my own doing.

So…on the plus side? I’m still VERY warm. I feel great about the cravings, I just still don’t have them. Even though I don’t feel great, I REALLY don’t want to smoke. Blech. And that’s the gods honest truth. I can’t wait to run tonight, that feels good.

I have a little secret something in the works that will be showing itself next weekend, so you’ll all be in on that, but it’s a really good thing I’m excited about.

And my boyfriend continues to be a saint, I can tell he’s a little apprehensive about my moods and what he should be doing to help me, and that in and of itself is sweet. But tonight he promises our weekly pizza/ANTM party and some relaxing for me, which is just too kind. I know I’m not very much fun to be around, especially today, but for some reason, he continues to stand by me and be as patient as can be. I’m a lucky girl. And THAT is why I’m doing what I’m doing. I’d like to be with him as long as possible.

Kay, venting over. Bring on Project Runway y’all. Shoot, I love Wednesdays. ANTM, Project Runway AND Gossip Girl? Oh my gosh.