Man, today is kind of a crazy day!
Lots of stuff happening at work, I have an interview in a little bit with another big name in architecture (I’m nervous, who do I think I am doing this interviews? Yikes? Although the last one was great, and I already met this guy and he seemed to like me…not that he needs to like me, it’s an interview, and not a job one), I have lots to read, lots to write, lots to do.
Motivation is overtaking me these days.
Is it the weather? Perhaps, something about sunshine and a non-violent walk outside tends to get my blood flowing a little more.
And the realization this morning, it a really profound sense, that I don’t want to be a legal admin for the rest of my life.
Now, I’ve known this before, but today as I was scrambling around the office, pulling things together and helping out my boss who I really truly admire, I thought “You know, I don’t hate this, I don’t hate this at all. But it’s just not…right”. My new job as Chicagoist TV Contributor has gotten my media panties all in a bunch. My mini-audition yesterday, which isn’t my dream at all, but was a realization that you never know where your next weird thing is going to come from, got my regular pants in a bunch, and a certain…confidence maybe …has gotten my shirts and shoes in a bunch.
Every morning I whisper to my dog that in a year or two, I will be home with him, working on my computer, doing what pleases me and hopefully other people. And lately, I’ve had the belief that it can actually…happen. That I’m not stuck, I’m not screwed, that I’m on a path, a really good path and that I really honestly credit not only myself but really Chicagoist too. I started writing for them a year ago almost exactly (my lord, is that right? Yup Feb. 21 was my first “on my own” post) and just…how being on this staff validated me and something I had never really trusted myself to be able to do…write.
So on the next day when I feel like ass, when someone is yelling at me, when I’m broke and the world feels like a big bottle of poo, point me back to today. A regular plain old day, but a day when I feel like I can actually accomplish what it is I’ve set out to do.
2 comments:
Go get 'em babe!
wow, it's been a year!? that rocks. it seems like yesterday and it seems like years.
yeah, i feel the same way about chicagoist. it's totally roused and given confidence to a part of me i knew was there, but needed a little prodding.
yay, vis.
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