Blunt, in more ways than one

Okay first, don’t ever rest too long in the Cool Universe; something will always take you out.

Last night on my way home from mom’s, I saw a bum basically lying in the street. His legs were hanging off the curb, just lying in the sidewalk. I saw half a dozen people all do the same thing I did; which was look worriedly at him, slow down as if to stop, then keep walking. I faked myself out with some sort of “you never know, he might stab you with his drunk knife” and kept walking.

A guy stopped, dragged him by his shoulders, and moved the poor fellow back up to the sidewalk. The drunk guy slumped right back down, lying all the way down in the middle of the sidewalk.

I went and got the guy a cheeseburger and a huge cup of coffee from Mickey D’s. When I walked back over to him and knelt down to him I said “Here you go, a big warm cup of coffee and a cheeseburger okay?” He looked at me with those familiar, yet totally unfamiliar, completely drunk wasted eyes and said “I’ll eat anything”. I patted him on the shoulder, and left him on the sidewalk.

I thought about finding a cop, and decided that was completely the wrong idea. What the hell would they do? And instead, just left him there. I didn’t know what else to do.

ANYWAY. On a lighter note…

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE REMOVE THIS MAN FROM MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE?
Anyone? Please? Take him away? I don’t want to see his half naked body on the sand. I don’t want to listen to that stupid song and I don’t even want to make fun of it anymore.

Please. Take him away.