Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Giving in, giving up, giving it up...

Another slow day here, s.l.o.w.

But my insides are racing, I tell you people! Not only is November 1 the first day of nanowrimo.org (National Novel Writing Month, I tried to post a participant thing to my blog but I couldn’t do it, I should participate in National Spaz Posting Month), but it is also my first day of quitting smoking!

I know I know, the first day you don’t get any love, and that’s cool. I debated whether to post it at all, cause no one wants to fail in front of all 3 people that read her blog, but still.

I feel alright so far, just working at mind over mattering this thing, not making a big deal of it, etc. (Sorry Kate, no smokes at lunch tomorrow). I’m also trying to do it cold turkey, no gum, no cheating, no nothing. So, so far so good. Nanowrimo helps, my mind is on something else, the good days at the gym help so far, I know I have something better to do.

But there is the classic addict line of “if this is this easy for me, why do I have to do it today? I could still smoke a couple of more days and quit this weekend”. Classic.

I bought The Constant Gardner to read, it’s all about keeping my mind occupied.

I’ve been asked to provide more information on Mousy Girl. There is a post somewhere around here about Mousy Girl and her wily ways which consist of sticking around long enough to eventually get some. I don’t know, did I practice it that way? I know I stuck around some boys long enough to get some, but I think I also did it with a sense of humor and a sense of dignity. (eh, who am I kidding).

Anyway, mousy girl is hot to some, she’s tiny tiny, flat, thin, petite. She’s got that “break her in half) kinda thing (sorry James) apparently. She does not speak. It is next to impossible to hold a conversation with her. But who needs conversation when you have a beer, a wife and a waify girl who’s willing to do pretty much anything with anyone? I find it all fairly distasteful on both the female and the masculine side, but it is also so exquisitely human that I can’t not watch.

What I must do now is let it go, stop being angry at her willingness to do anything for acceptance and stop being angry at my men friends for their willingness to give it to her. It is not my business, not my place and the only time it affects me is when she decides it’s a good idea to hang out with a girl every once in awhile. (Oh right, she also likes to tell people that she’s gay, however, I’ve never seen her flirt or go home with a woman ever, just another easy way into a man’s pants, lesbianism, always works).

So I’m letting her go completely, not yelling at the boys anymore and not entertaining conversation from her anymore. She’s on her own.

More green tea more green tea more green tea more green tea.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hang in there, sugar. Being in the midst of my own giving up something experience, I can tell you, it's a bitch. At first, you might experience some positive things which keep you on target, but after a while you realize that quitting is hard, while not quitting is painfully easy. The reward in quitting is the quitting. It's in your ability to effect your Will and Change your life.

On a less somber note, we also have our own mousy girl here. Tiny, thin, flat, and the dudes circle her like vultures circling a sick wildebeast waiting for it to die.