Good Orderly Direction

Okay, this whole "artists way" thing has got me going completely insane. I am literallly turning into an insane person. I guess that means it's working.

She's pretty god-y about things and that's fair, I just kinda skip over those parts or try to refine my idea of what god is, but my poor little blog doesn't need to represent that. She tells us when confused or annoyed by her use of the God word that we should replace it with "Good Orderly Direction" which I find laughable.

I will stop reaming it though because, as I said, I'm going completely insane. Is it the lack of reading? Maybe. Is it the pinprick of realization that indeed I am learning and opening my closed off brain that's been judging itself for 34 years? Is it the fact that I'm doing more creatively this week than I've done in my whole life?

I don't know, I honestly don't, but something that this woman wrote about is doing something. I"m absolutely hyper and a total spaz which I believe is the core me, I've always known I was a spaz, but not in this way. I can't type fast enough, write fast enough, clean fast enough, work fast enough. I'm sweating when I talk and I'm talking like...Stacy from the Apprentice.

I thought the reading deprivation would quiet my mind, allow me to just ajfkldsajfksld;aliew and not think. But I'm thinking more...ergh.

I realize this is all great stuff and I'm really excited, but soon my Good Orderly Direction is going to turn into Gross Odd Doof.