Sunday, December 11, 2016

It's snowy

My dog is dying slowly and in fits and starts.

And I've been working lately on being "receptive."

Ew. I don't want to be receptive.

I'd like to be closed off, alone, quiet, far away and not receiving anything thank you very much, just in case I need to return it back later when I'm not ready.

I've been working on a paradigm shift with money. I'm tired of it the way it is. And if Margaret wants to change something the way she does that is to educate herself about it. So I hive-minded on FB and got tons of suggestions of things to read and listen to and it's great, I already feel better, just moving forward with A plan is better than no plan at all.

But from the ritziest to the ditziest of all the things I've been reading - one sure fire thing is receptivity. You just have to believe that you deserve and can receive "abundance."

That you have to love and respect your money like you love and respect your own self. The more you shun it, turn away from it, ignore it, the worse it's all going to get.

And I know this to be true on some level because I've been working with this anyway, with my emotions and feelings, that you have to tune into this stuff.

And to think about honestly loving my money, that is really weird. That is one fucked up concept.

So I've been listening to Receptive meditations and stuff and it's really interesting how hard it is to open up to that. To be worthy. To stop telling the stories of how much "I hate being broke all the time" and "why is it all so hard" and FUCK IT. Christ. Fuck it. My conditioning is so strong and so silly when I can find a way to see through it.

Not that any of it matters because our dual wars with China and Russia are going to fuck everything up anyway.


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