Wednesday, April 10, 2013


So, the more I learn about Buddhism of course, the more I like. There's so much freedom there. So much "figure it out for yourself" type things. There's some dogma sure, there always is, but I continue to find great truths in it!

But again, not really a meditator.

I'm committing to it. I'm doing a week of morning meditation for 15 minutes.

I know I had a lot of confusion about what meditation really is, it's not just about quieting the mind - that's just the beginning.

But one thing I love about this whole thing is, it's all really gentle. You're not ever allowed to beat up on yourself. So, even with trying this whole crazy thing out, part of it is laughing and enjoying how weird and awkward and strange it all feels.

I had to tell my husband not to come into my office when the door is closed because "I'M MEDITATING." Feels so weird. I know it's not weird for a lot of people to pray, but it would be very strange for me to - so to ask for silent time where I'm practicing some MYSTICAL thing (which it isn't, I know) feels weird.

I have so  much judgement attached to the act of meditation. Just even saying it sometimes...

But I'm fascinated that it is hard to sit still for 15 minutes. Harder than you might think.


I'd like to have a bit of control with my mind. I'd like to see it's hypocrisies and it's habits.

I have some shit I want to get done, some real focused, creative, important shit.

Buddha gonna help me get my shit done.

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