Well, I’ve lost the high I’ve been on for the past few weeks, I think mostly due to a few rough nights sleep. I 99% of the time sleep like a baby, so to have late nights and early mornings the past couple of days…well…taking its toll.
So of course all the things that are plaguing my brain are alive and well and thriving on lack of sleep, the only things to get more energetic as the rest of me stares off into space.
We had a good weekend, it was action packed, there were lots of things to do and lots to ponder over. I found myself battling to either make people care more about the wedding or care less about it and today in my sleepy state I realize in a very annoyed fashion that I can’t make people do anything one way or the other. So, I’m working on letting it go and people can reconcile their own cares however they see fit.
And today of course I’m finding any wedding planning to be way overwhelming. There are missing packages to find, parties to be booked, flowers to be fixed, invitations to be mailed, emails to write, reservations to be made and today I’m just letting that go too, I know myself, I’ll most likely feel more apt to do it tomorrow.
My boobs seem regular again, my body seems shlumpy, I crave cheese and bread and meat for food and want to throw in some fried potatoes for good measure.
These are the days when girls need their mothers, someone to come in and take over, just for a little bit, to make phone calls and pat me reassuringly on the back, to tell me all this stuff just doesn’t matter, to not worry about who cares enough and who cares too much, to give me checks filled with money and find lost packages, to make phone calls and tell me one day of missed running isn’t going to make too much difference.
Mommy.
5 comments:
Awww. It'll be okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't have to run. And I want you to go out to dinner and have a bacon cheeseburger with spicy fries. Mkay?
Hixx, all this stuff just doesn’t matter. Don't worry about who cares enough and who cares too much. One day of missed running isn’t going to make too much difference. You are doing great. The wedding stuff will happen, and it will be the most beautiful day. You are an amazingly strong woman, and you WILL get through this.
If you need me to make phone calls for you, or sit with you while you make them, let me know, and I will come over.
If you want to eat some cheese and potatoes, it is ok. It won't make you any less healthy or take away any of the good work you've been doing.
Get some rest tonight. Everything will be ok.
Love, E
i have really nice handwriting. i will address invitations for you if they aren't already going to be printed.
eat meat. with bread. stay home. it's good to chill, especially if you're sleepy.
olay!
I will address envelopes too!!! Hixx!!!!! I feel like a terrible friend, I've been so caught up in my own shit and you've made it a point to be supportive to me, so I am extending the same to you. Please, please reach out and tell me what I can do to ease the stress a bit. Maybe a Thursday night catch up on Project Runway card addressing party??
ooohhh. that sounds sweet. i missed last week. second ep and i already missed one. shows that the season already sucks that i didn't care that much.
DON'T tell me, though. i want to care, so i'll give it a chance.
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