So, ISHT!
Guess what suckers? 144! HEYO!
It’s probably because I ran last night in the heat and lost a pound of water weight.
NO SERIOUSLY.
Things I’m thinking about this week include:
How tired I am of thinking about food all the time, thinking about eating meat, not eating meat, do I have to have another salad? I’m hungry, should I eat more? Should I be eating less? I want bread, can I have bread? I shouldn’t eat bread, but I really want it, I guess I’ll have another salad…BAH! My god. Does this ever go away? Ever? Is there any woman out there who just eats? So so so tired of food. So tired of it.
I’m trying to refrain from “telling stories” about myself, this is a big Tolle thing, the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. I do this a lot. I do it with things like “I am clumsy”, “I am a spaz”, “I have no drive”…etc.
Except, one thing I’m really learning about myself -- and it is a story I’m telling myself, but sometimes we have to see our stories to see beyond them -- is that contrary to how I seem on this blog and in person, I have decided that I am an extremely shy and private person.
I long for the time when I can move throughout this world without anyone noticing. You know how they say that middle-aged women become invisible? When does this happen exactly? Because I’m very much looking forward to it. Not that I want to hide from the world, or anything like that, its more that I much prefer to observe than be the observed, that I would like to move quietly, unnoticed by most, to be seen and heard by my friends and family of course, but …
Maybe I should be careful what I wish for?
Anyway, I want to give John a shout out because ever since I’ve discussed my interest in cutting down on meat consumption, John has gone out of his way to make the most delicious dinners. He’s trying things out, stretching his own brain and talents, and the food he’s making is just delicious. Dinners are my saving grace lately, always excited to see what thing John is going to make tonight, he’s helping me create a new relationship with food, because I know it can be healthy and delicious!
Christmas in July:
4 comments:
If you figure out how to stop thinking about it, will you be a dear and let me know?
:)
Ditto for me!
Kate, might I suggest showing a picture of a lovely celery stalk instead of a big lovely CAKE?
Nahhhhhhh ... looking at the cake stops me from eating the cake, if that makes sense. :)
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