I just got really tired.
Either I’ve been pushing all the planning too hard, or I shouldn’t have had a grilled cheese with fries for lunch. Um.
145. I’ve totally got my cycle down, totally. What happens is, during the week, on Thursdays, I get down to 144-145. Then the weekend hits and I eat too much (although I still exercise a lot) and I gain a pound or two and then by Monday I’m 147 and I’m down to 145 by Thursday again. Vicious.
Although you know what lately? Vicious cycle it up I say. I love my weekends of crab rangoon and occasional cheeseburgers. I love my Saturday nights filled with vodka sevens, and then a huge hungover breakfast Sunday morning. I do not want to lose these things and so…so be it. 145 it is. Suck it 150.
Plus, lately, I’ve been feeling really so much stronger. I basically ride my bike to work 2 times a week, and run the other 2-3 days. I ride a lot on the weekends and am way into doing more active “play” like the canoeing we did last weekend. What a great way to get in a workout right? So…more of that please.
And even though my running is way slowed down by the heat, eff that, the fact that I’m running and working it and pushing myself, that’s what matters, not how fast or how far I go.
Last night I rode my bike to the beach, to Montrose Beach, and I locked it up and ran at the beach and it was SO FUCKING EXCELLENT. I swear, I felt like I was in California or something. There is such a pretty harbor there, the bird sanctuary which is like a freaking nature trail – so much harder to run in, but so cool…the water and the city and the smell and the people and the bbq’s and the dogs and it was just so great.
So, this week I’m really battling what I’m “supposed” to be, or what is “supposed” to be happening, not just in my physical pursuits, but my mental ones as well. And learning to be really happy with what I’ve accomplished, how much stronger I am in mind and body and how I really need to hold on to this feeling for about 5 more hours while I go bra shopping.
7 comments:
I'm right there with you, Hixx. I'm working hard on shedding what I think I should be doing with my life and career and coming to terms with letting all that go and making a clean sweep and fresh start. I'm here for you if you need anything.
Me too me too! I'm doing all that too you guys! It must be going around.
I think we should hug it out.
I like this plan!
But let me ask you this. If you know your cycle, why even weigh yourself on Mondays?
I'm not allowed to weigh myself on Mondays. Actually, I'm really only supposed to do it certain days of the month. Because, I'm allowed and encouraged to indulge on the weekend. The carbos and salt puff me up. And by the end of the week I'm fine again. It's pretend weight gain--doesn't even count.
So...if it doesn't count, why acknowledge it at all? :)
i'm not just blowing smoke up your ass when i say you're my hero. i really admire you and i look up to you with all you've done and are doing.
healthy actions, healthy living, healthy mindset, healthy relationship. i really want those things. i appreciate you sharing your "experience, strength and hope" with us/me.
and i want to meet your snoutero sometime. he looks so nice.
How do I locate your boobologist?
Yes, hugging it out is a perfect way to shed misconceptions about ourselves! YES!
I love you guys.
Waflen, I might very well take your idea under advisement, what is my purpose for weighing every day? It seems unhealthy. I'm going to attempt to weigh once a week on Thursdays. But honestly, seems kind of hard.
Smuss, you should see me at home weeping on the floor by the toilet. It happens, trust me. But thank you for writing what you did.
Kate...its up!
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