149 heyo! Does anyone get the feeling this is the weight I'm supposed to be at?
As I sit here, eating my endless salad, I ponder the curiousness of my body and mind.
I’m still recuperating from my runabout! I feel great, but definitely some achy things here and there, achy ankles (my new band name) and achy knees, nothing bad, just kinda achy, so I’ve been taking it pretty easy the past couple of days, didn’t run on Tuesday and did some yoga last night. I think tonight I’ll do some high-speed treadmill walking and some strength stuff, gotta love the itrain.
I’m impressed that I can burn half a pound in a day, yet still lose no weight. Argh.
But I had a moment last night, one described not so long ago by the lovely Erin…she saw some pictures of herself that she deemed not so flattering and it sent her into a mild dervish.
I had the same thing happen last night. I did my yoga, it was hard, but I felt strong, doing it always makes me feel stronger, and I went to change my clothes and seriously, my stomach was sticking out to high heaven. I don’t know if it was bloating or what, but really…it was so out there.
I looked in the mirror and in an instant, hated everything about myself. Not just dissatisfaction, but actual hate. I hated my hair, face, boobs, torso, thighs, toes, everything in a split second. It was horrible, I knew it was horrible, I felt myself reacting like a butthead but I couldn’t stop it.
Not only did it shock me how much I hated myself, but the speed in which I got there. Yikes.
It’s still even with me today, although not quite so intense, and I certainly see the folly in it. Bygum.
So I don’t know what this means or what I’m trying to say, except that I guess we all have it from time to time, even when old, and to somehow figure out a way to erase it sooner than later and...
Yup, just about done with my salad.
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