ISHT - Thank you edition

ISHT- guess my weight!

I want to thank everyone for chiming in last week about the whole weight scenario. I really took everything each one of you said into consideration and really made some resolutions about things.

I have decided/did decide a long time ago that I would never count chicken ounces, that I won’t measure my food. I know that’s how people do this, by being vigilant, and that impresses me, I’m just not like that. So I want to thank you guys for reminding me that you can’t just have everything.

Sabrina was having a hard body image day not too long ago and I was trying to help her and she was so mad at herself, so mad at her body, so mad at the world that she wasn’t losing weight (she too has quit smoking, drinking and was exercising more than ever, I definitely felt her frustration) and I just heard the fight and anger in her voice and I Tolle’d her. I told her she had to stop fighting her body, hating her body, antagonizing it and yelling at it and being frustrated by it. That she had to work with her body, be proud of it and all that it could do, work with it to fuel it, feed it what it wants, take care of it, love it, pamper it – not hate it.

I think I’m learning these lessons for myself. Thanks to you guys too. My journey into a healthier lifestyle has all come from little gains. I’ve been eating healthier lately, quit smoking, started running…all because I started learning to respect myself, not because I want to lose weight. It really isn’t about that, but about treating myself well, not eating shit because how it makes me feel, not because I want to lose weight.

So now I’m working on just getting to be really effing strong, as strong as possible. I also really want to work on form – breathing, posture, concentration, focus.

I also really am working on the mind/body connection. I have most of my life ignored my body - quite blissfully - because I knew I was killing it with smoking and the way I ate. So much easier to deny it, than connect with it. Well now I’m ready to connect, to learn what it likes, what it doesn’t, how my body affects my mind and vice versa, it’s very hard, because it takes practice, and presence, and vigilance. But I know the more I connect with my body, the healthier and stronger I will get.

So this afternoon I went to get lunch at the Mart, we always eat at the mart, I always get the same thing because it’s the healthiest thing there. Today I was bored, and I decided to try the turkey/ranch wrap at Arby’s. I thought turkey, some ranch, in a wrap wasn’t the worst thing to eat and I declined the combo…so no fries.

I could not eat the wrap. It was foul. It looked delicious, but it was a big mish-mash of salt and fake food. And I couldn’t eat it. Literally could not eat it. That has never happened to me in my life. I feel like a little old prissy lady … and it feels great.

Thanks to John for being a seer, and ordering me a salad from where he got lunch. Smooch baby.