We're Alive

So, today is a big milestone around the Hixx parts. It is my 12 week non-smoking anniversary! YAY! I was so close to taking a personal day today, so close. I really do see the importance of celebrating this day with something special, this is a big one, so instead of taking the day off, I just went and bought myself a bunch of books on Amazon…almost as good anyway. The not smoking is going quite well, I still get racked with cravings (oh man, last night during the snowstorm, my smoking friends were over, I was full…would have been such a good time for one), but it just doesn’t happen that often. The only time I really think about it now is when someone else is puffing away…I have to be triggered to think about it, instead of thinking about it all the time on my own. SO YAY ME! 12 fuckin’ weeks.

Somehow, John and I made it through this weekend. I don’t know how we did it, but we’re alive, we’re breathing and neither one of us hurt anything, much.

Friday night ended up being a relatively quiet evening, there was some “itraining” for me (I swear my legs still hurt) and we watched the final Bourne movie which I really enjoyed. I’m not one for watching fist fights, but that fight scene was one of the best ever, curazy.

Saturday consisted of cleaning really quickly before we left to go meet John’s parents, who were meeting us at moms place. Oh my lord. My mom was SO nervous, but of course, she was great. John’s parents were great; John’s aunt and uncle were great. It ended up being a truly lovely lunch, with the full impact of wedding hitting me while sitting next to John’s mom and my mom talking about what they were going to wear (John’s mom wants to go sassy, love it). It was a truly happy occasion, and of course, as things in my family tend to be, the happier the occasion, the sadder it is. When John’s mom passed me a datebook to fit in my purse (sweet) with all the families addresses and numbers, mom promised me she would go up to her room and do the same…which of course she can’t do. So heartbreaking. There was a lot of that, John’s mom would say she wanted to see the boat and where it was and where it’ll go and mom would say the same thing..it just…just know that it’s heartbreaking.

But to see this now united family, coming together out of their love for me and John…ah, this whole thing is so enmeshed with happiness and joy and pain and sorrow, it’s really quite emotional.

ANYWAY, the rest of the day was a NIGHTMARE. And not because of anything personal, it was just slushy and snowy and restaurants were closed and others too busy and some people were in pain and forgot pain medications and some were tired and bumping into cars and finding poles in garages we never knew existed till the car found them and I’m surprised we got out alive.

Yesterday we had some peeps over to watch the Bowl that is Super and that was nice. I ate way too much….I ate a lot of M&M’s and I’m not just saying that in a girly way, like I only had two and call that a lot, I mean I ate A LOT. Gurp.

But tonight I have a four mile run, in the slosh, so…I’ll work off 1/3 of the amount of M&M’s I had.

Gurp.