Three's Company

John and I have a mystery we’re trying to solve.

It’s a mystery involving love, deception, money and heavy footfalls.

When John and I first came to see our present apartment, there was a couple in there who were moving upstairs. We live in a condo building, but we rent. Small building…6 apartments (7 if you count Tai Ling who lives in the basement apartment, not sure if that is her name, I’m sure it isn’t).

So the couple who were currently renting our apartment were moving upstairs to one that they now owned. There was a woman, small, short, curly hair, looks vaguely foreign, a little chunky perhaps. There was also the dude, who looked a lot like every other 20-30 somethingish guy. Not looking more closely at him when we first saw the apartment will forever haunt me. When we first moved in in October, I don’t think they were living above us yet, there was a lot of work being done to their bathroom I believe. So things were quiet for about a month or so.

Not too long after that came a lot of stomping, boy stomping for sure. Then we started hearing even more noise, lots of furniture being moved every night, some dude playing his guitar and singing (he was really quite soulful…or not).

Then…out of nowhere…sex. SEX SEX SEX. So much sex is started making me feel guilty that John and I weren’t rockin’ the house like they were. They seemed like a couple that had been together for a bit, buying a condo and all that, how were they having SO MUCH SEX?

And it was always at like…3 in the morning on weekends, 5AM a lot of nights. This wasn’t “couple who has been together for awhile” sex. I’m telling you. This was “race home from the bar because I can’t stand it anymore” sex.

So one day, earlier in the spring, I’m out in the backyard and a dude comes down, is it the same dude from before when we saw the apartment? I’m not quite sure, it could be, or it could not be. But I can promise you it is not the same chick. This is a new chick, a newer, younger, dare I say…prettier chick.

AHA!

Well, I haven’t seen short curly-haired girl anymore, maybe they broke up right? She moved out…he’s keeping the condo.

So we listen to them have sex and move furniture some more, we listen to more emo singing and sometimes hear the clickty clack of dogs feet on the floor, and we’ve decided…yup, original girl who left all these health foods in our kitchen cupboards is gone.

But no! Just a few weeks ago we see her coming down the stairs…she’s still there! Does she know her live-in is having an affair? How could she not? They are banging ALL THE TIME. Are there maybe two dudes who live up there, maybe 4 people in all? Sometimes we think we see the same dude, and sometimes we think its two different dudes….

John has decided she plays the cello and goes out of town a lot.

I think she might be from Lebanon and goes home to take care of her mother a lot.

Both of our very respectable reasons explain how she could not know her boyfriend is having all kinds of sex without her.

Yet, the mystery is not solved, every day holds another clue, another possibility that our questions will be answered.

I told John I swear to god I’m going to sit in our backyard, post him at the front door, and just wait there all day, 24/7 to see who comes in and out of that damn place.

Two dudes? Two girls? Two girls one dude?

Deception, lies? Or a simple four person living situation?

I will keep you posted. I promise.