Hardscrabble

Ark, urgh, blerp, rats….

You know those days? Those days that pop up unexpectedly? You wake up that morning and you think “Oh shoot, this one’s going to be a doozy”. I’m having one of those.

I’ve (smartly) scheduled my next “test” tour for Sunday, figuring I just better get this thing over with as fast as I can, flow with my studying instead of stalling it dead in its tracks, so yesterday, in a fit of competence, I scheduled my test tour. I stand secretly off to the side of the boat and give the tour to a fellow docent who watches me and decides if I’m then ready. It’s not that bad…but it’s still a test. After this test (are you all tired of my tests yet?) THEN I give a real tour on the boat. I was telling John last night, this is different than the walking tours, because the walking tours you could practice more easily, you could give the tours to friends a bajillion times first before you were tested.

On the boats, your first time on the boat giving a real tour is your first time giving a real tour. Argh.

So I’m up early this morning and I give myself the tour with a dvd they taped for us, it just goes along with the boat, gives you a sense of timing etc…and I keep finding these spots where I have nothing to say. How can I have nothing to say? HOW? I don’t know…but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I know a little about a lot of things, so its’ hard to delve into specifics about things and talk about them constantly.

So here I sit, desperately trying to put my thoughts into some kind of coherent whole. I keep reading more and more and more about Chicago, and the more I learn the more confused I get.

Argh…just argh. I expect these days, you can’t live life without them. I realize this. I just hope it doesn’t last more than a day or two. I got work to do…that’s the worst part of moods like these, they prevent you from doing the exact work you should be doing.

On the plus side of things, how cute is my pup?