Passive verbs

Okay, it seems so far away now, and it was so early that I kind of feel like it was a dream.

But before I tell, lemme esplain:

I’m pretty passive aggressive when it comes to dealing with the public. I’m ALWAYS the one to move out of the way on a sidewalk, and if I don’t, I get shouldered. When I hold open the door for someone and they don’t say thank you, I whisper “you’re welcome” under my breath, but never loud enough for them to hear. I’m constantly telling people to move, get out of the way, but again, never loud enough so I’d actually have to face the consequences.

So this morning, I’m out walking my pup, and, especially in the morning, I try to avoid other dogs. Remo loves to play and he gets all excited (we’re working on it) and usually he’ll just lunge for the other dog if he sees one. In the morning, at 6:30AM, this is uncool with me, so I’ll go out of my way to avoid dogs in the morning.

So I’m walking quietly with my happy, calm dog, and this woman comes out of her apartment about 15 feet away from me. She sees me; I assess the situation and decide to cross the street. We happily walk and then I see the woman crosses the street and comes walking right towards me.

So I do my classic swearing under my breath, this woman knows better. I see people crossing the street all the time with their dogs, we know what it means. So I’m swearing at her under my breath and decide “fine, if she wants to do it this way, we’ll do it this way” so we walk right up and Remo lunges for her dog, and the lady pipes out a little “oh”, as if Remo scared her and her precious little dog (he’s actually really good with the littler dogs, he would never hurt anything, ‘cept squirrels and birds, sigh). So then I say “Yeah, well, that’s why I crossed the street”. And she says….”bitch”. And I say “right back atcha” and keep on walking.

It was so weird. I’m surprised I even let it out of my mouth to say something, but it was just so RIDICULOUS. She walked right into it, with full knowledge, and then acted like me and my pup were going to kill her.

I was so mad.

Don’t cross me at 6:30 in the morning, seriously, I’ll pull out a can whoopass.

Whatever that means.