The holiday weekend was filled with food and drink, friends and family, burgers and fries, veggies and spread.
We had a really nice vacation, we didn’t do much, but looking back on it, we did plenty. We got a bunch done, and did enough sitting around that today feels like I’m getting things accomplished, no more sitting on me butt.
I could go into all that we did, but I’m not going to, because I find that endlessly boring today. Just include a Target trip, beating the top score on “Wordster” at our local bar, a delicious summer/grill dinner, a picnic by the lake, the dog park, the self-cleaning dog grooming place (Remo was so good, what a dream he is). Which leads me to the next thing:
Any of Remo’s “problems”, which are all being a puppy related, disappeared after we were home for a day. The nipping, the jumping, the spazticity, all gone. He was happy, exercised, interested, loved, cuddled, he was just so happy. It breaks my heart to put him in a crate for 8 hours a day again, my little pup deserves so much better.
And I awoke this morning with a new found purpose, with a plan, an idea, a realization that I really understood this time.
I’m the only one who can change my life.
Sometimes I think I get secretly angry with John that he can’t change my life for me. That if he just made the decision to run away to Thailand with me, we’d be forever happy.
I can’t depend on him for that.
If it brings tears to me eyes to return to the office, if it dampens my holiday knowing it’s my last real one till Christmas, if I believe in my heart the animal I am responsible for is not as happy or as well loved as he could be, then its up to me to change it, to make it better.
So we’ll see how long my motivation lasts, how long I can hold on to the “if other people can do it, so can I” mentality. But I plan on holding on to it, because I feel more powerful, more hopeful, and less confused than I have for awhile.
Happy 5th of July.
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