A Day In The Life

It’s my mother’s nurses birthday. We all like Judy okay. She’s a tad lazy, but this family tends to let that slide; we’re not very good judges regarding laziness.

Since mom can’t really get out much, and definitely can’t get out without Judy around, its up to us kids to get Judy’s birthday present.

First I was told to get the chocolate in the gold wrapping. It was further described as the round, fancy ones, that taste like hazelnut. And although I can’t think of the exact name of the chocolates my mother described, I know exactly what she’s talking about. So…I’ll get those.

I was also told to get her the new Donna Karen perfume. But this is where things start to get tricky. Mom told me it was the new one, and that it had a name like “Commando” or “Camoflauge”. I was pretty sure both of these were wrong, but thought I could go with the military theme and have a pretty good idea of which one she wanted.

So off I trudge to Macy’s/Fields and navigate the labyrinthe of hell known as the department store, and make my way to the DKNY counter, which I can only assume is the Donna Karen counter. Cause I’m smart like that.

There’s a little red apple perfume, not so much military. There’s a little green apple perfume, no, that’s probably not it. So I assume my “just because I look like hell, hate department stores and have no idea about perfume but help me anyway” stance, when a nice lady asks me if I need help, and I do, so I say so.

I tell her that I’m looking for the new Donna Karen perfume and that my mother says its called “Commando”. Well that does nothing for her, no smile, only a small smirk of pity for my sad sweaty soul. She tells me the apple perfumes are new, and that the next newest one is Cashmere. Well, that feels right, but Commando and Cashmere are still pretty far off.

So I tell her that I’ll be back, trying to explain that my mother is batscrazy.

She stares.

I hate department stores.

And yes if you’re wondering, its Cashmere. Close mom.