All I ever needed to know I learned when I was 35

Another paradigm shift this weekend in my life. Another thing thrown at me that I must digest and spit back out.

I believe this is where I learn about “the things I cannot change”. This is the part where I learn about the things I can control and the things I cannot. The part where, I worry about what I can and learn to put away the things I can’t.

Is this what getting older is about? Am I learning how to deal with hardships because that’s what I’ll be getting from here on in? Learning how to accept my own happiness even when some around me (some that I love with all my heart) are struggling so deeply with their own demons? And I have to learn to let go, and let them struggle while I offer support and love and understanding?

I’m working on 3 words here, grace, dignity and love. With all these things continuing to swirl around me, I’m working to keep my head, to keep my heart open, to keep my mind clear and to do it with grace.

To not get bogged down in the sadnesses of the people I love, and not to let the people I love get bogged down in my own sadness. To “keep my head when all around me are losing theirs”.

To move on, to accept the joys my life offers me, to accept them as my own. To empathize without overdoing, to control without being controlling, to love without losing myself.

These lessons, by the by, are bullshit and lessons I don’t need or want to learn at the moment. I’m damn mature and wise already, I don’t need extra crap.

So tonight, I’ll figure out how to paste this dang column into my document, then go home to my couch, to a warm man who loves me (and he really is warm, it’s unbelievable), to a pretty apartment that relaxes me and hopefully, to a quieter, stronger mind, more prepared for another day that starts like any other.