Do I look different? Is it working?

Well, I don’t have a million dollars yet, I must not have changed my water crystallizations enough. We’ll see what happens.

I am however truly working on changing the way my mind thinks, and it’s nearly impossible. I realize I’m just starting and that this is the mastery of most peoples lives, but C’MON IT’S SO HARD.

I find I can go sit outside, quietly, and think my “positive” thoughts. (That just sounds so cliché, I hate even typing it). Then I walk into the office and everything can change just like that. The phone rings, a question I need to go out of my way to answer, a block of any sort that will remove my mind from the happy sunny place I just came out of. I find it fascinating the way our minds revert back to what they know.

I have many addictions in this lifetime, some of them are good and some of them are horrible. I will battle these addictions for the rest of my life I’m sure, and I just want them to be a little bit easier.

If I can believe in a sort of “mind over matter”, if sexy David Blaine can stand on a pole for 36 hours, if a thought can change a water crystal, if my mind can honestly change the reality that I believe to be unchangeable, then I can battle some of these addictions, hell, I can battle all of them.

So I’m working on some things, I’m working on “what the hell would happen if you just let yourself be happy and enjoy the things you do have which are actually quite plentiful?”. Sometimes there is a flash, of pure happiness joy and appreciation, and I find that my mind dumps it almost as fast as it got there. Why? Fear? What am I so scared of? That if I feel it I’ll lose it?

I apologize for the armchair philosophy of the eternal questions everyone has asked all their lives, but what the hell is the blog for then right? RIGHT?

On the plus side, I found out that the Superman underwear I have is quite popular among many ladies.

Sorry James.