Goodbye

Well my kitty was put to sleep yesterday, I will miss her more than I can express. I'm writing this at work and I shouldn't be doing that, cause I'm crying and I know more than one or two people think I'm nuts.

I know there are people who do and don't understand about pets. Especially cats. They don't have the personality of dogs, they only know who feeds them, they're rude and self centered, if people even think that much about cats at all.

But the thing is, this cat was a part of my personality. She was a part of who I am. She's everywhere. She's every single one of my passwords and web names. She's all over my clothes and always has been. She's been a constant source of laughter in my family for years. She's the reason I go home from wherever I've been and she's the reason I want to.

She knew me better than anyone. She knew my private and public humilities. She's known every single one of boyfriends and has hated each and every one. She knew how I sleep and in what position. She knows when I'm sick and knows when I'm well. She's seen me pick my zits and pull hairs out of my chin. She's moved across the country with me a zillion times and moved across the street with me once or twice.

I'll miss her little pitter pats on the floor as she walked by. The solid thud she made when jumping off the bed. The warmth of her on my feet on cold winter mornings. Her warm purring in my lap during Survivor. Her meowing at a closed door for no apparent reason. Her swinging tummy as she ran for her food. Her hissing at my brother while trying to feed her. Her tentative steps when she managed to run out the front door.

I once lost her when she was a kitten. I was scared to death. I ran around looking for her everywhere, she was so tiny and I was so scared. I found her behind the refrigerator a couple of hours later.

Tonight when I go home, I just might check behind the fridge.